When you live with an alcoholic, you need to put up with a lot. The one thing that you should never do is may excuses for their actions or their drinking. You have to tell the truth, but in some cases, just not saying anything is better. If you make excuses for what an alcoholic does or why he or she drinks, you are just helping them keep on drinking and not taking responsibility for their actions. Sometimes it may be easier to make excuses than admit the true, but it just compounds the problem. One way to think about it is that if you have nothing truthful to stay, then just say nothing.
Excuses make you look bad. When you make excuses for why someone drinks, you are not helping them at all. In fact, when you make these excuses to someone else, they look at you differently. They wonder why you would make excuses for someone’s attitude or drinking. If you have ever joined a group for family members of an alcoholic, you would be told that it is unacceptable to make excuses for any reason. This just helps the alcoholic keep drinking without taking responsibility for their actions.
Never hide the problem or you will enable the alcoholic to continue to fool everyone. This can cause more problems. If one day, the person you have protected and made excuses fro does something that is really bad, no one would believe you because you helped them hide behind excuses. You have to remember that if you want people to believe in you, you have to be honest and not lie or make excuses for the person the drinks. If someone asks you a question, answer it truthfully and never make an excuse.
If you are abused in some way, never cover up this fact. Many men and women have done this every day that they lived with an alcoholic and ended up regretting it. Women, especially can be abused and live with it. However, if one day, the man in your life decides to take the abuse one-step farther and you protect yourself, who would believe you. You had spent all your time covering up for what they did that no one would believe that this person could do this. You have to be honest and not cover up the abuse. You need to tell someone that can help you.
After the fight is over and he or she wakes up, do not be afraid to tell them once again what they have done. Many alcoholics do not remember what they did the next day when they wake up. Some even remember and feel remorse. Letting them off the hook for their actions will only make it okay the next time. They will know that whatever they do is okay because you will forget and forgive without a second thought. Make them understand what they did and how it has to stop. This is always a good time to mention that they need professional help.
If they miss work, you cannot keep making excuses. Many people with drinking problems have problems making it to work every day. Eventually they will have to explain to their boss why they are missing work. If you are asked to call into work for them because they just do not feel good from drinking the night before, the answer you give should be no, do it yourself. If they are going to keep drinking it is going to keep happening and sooner or later, you will be judged because you helped that person lie to get out of work.
Take control of your life and distance yourself from the fighting and messes that the person makes. This is hard to do especially if you love the person. Living with an alcoholic in your life is never easy. You have to avoid the fights and stay out of any messes that the person may get himself or herself into because of their drinking. Alcoholics will mess up more than once and they will always apologize, but the next time they take a drink, they forget and do it all over again.
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