Tag: Lot

Coping With Abusive Behavior of the Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic that has abusive behavior, you need help before things get out of control. The one thing that you cannot do is allow the abusive behavior to continue or it could get worst. Bad things can happen when the abuse continues. If you need help, you can talk to others or protect yourself and the kids by calling the police. The police can remove the person from the home until they sober up. They can give you a seventy-two hour restraining order. Sometimes, this is enough to put a scare into the alcoholic.

Seek help from someone that can help you. This would be a counselor. You need to get the alcoholic into counseling as well. Abusive behavior can come because of the alcohol, but there may be another issue that triggers the abuse when the person is drinking. They may not even know what it is or how to control it. A counselor can help you both talk through the situation and help find a way to stop the abuse. You need to do this to protect yourself, the kids and even the alcoholic.

If they do not want to attend counseling, you should go yourself. You may find out that there are some things that you can do to avoid triggering the abusive behavior. This seems like a lot of work since you are not the one with the abusive behavior or the drinking problem, but you need to do it. When you are in counseling, you can learn what to do to protect yourself and where you can go if you need an escape. If you have any fears or other issues, you can talk your way through them with the help of a counselor.

Do not take the abuse. This could lead to more abuse and it could escalate. Just because the person only slaps you once is still not acceptable. Most cases of drunken abuse start with a slap and could lead to serious abuse that could lead to serious injury or death. You cannot just ignore any abuse no matter how small the issue. If it starts, chances are it will not stop until something is done about it. You cannot live in fear. If you live with an alcoholic, you already have enough to worry about and abuse does not have to be one of those issues.

Call the police if the abuse does not stop. The police can remove the party from the home and will not allow the person to return for at least seventy-two hours or sooner if you drop it. You can take this time to talk with the person and see what they plan to do about the problems. They are the only one that can make the change. You have to be firm and not agree to the person coming home until they agree to make changes and counseling should be top on that list.

Never agree to forgive the person the next day because they apologize. This is just another way of enabling the alcoholic. Forgiveness is earned and not just a bunch of words. Yes, they are going to feel remorse and be upset because they hurt you, but if you think that forgiving them right away and acting as nothing has happened, you will be in for a big surprise if you agree to forgiveness right away.

Try to keep the children away from any abusive behavior. Kids have a hard enough life growing up and they do not need to be involved in any abusive behavior. The kids should never try to help the parent that is being abused or they could become abused themselves. There are so many obstacles when you live with an alcoholic that is abusive. Sometimes, it is better to leave and move on. If the alcoholic does not get help or understand there actions, you may not be able to help them or yourself. You may have to leave and see if they take the steps needed to change.

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Never Make Excuses for the Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic, you need to put up with a lot. The one thing that you should never do is may excuses for their actions or their drinking. You have to tell the truth, but in some cases, just not saying anything is better. If you make excuses for what an alcoholic does or why he or she drinks, you are just helping them keep on drinking and not taking responsibility for their actions. Sometimes it may be easier to make excuses than admit the true, but it just compounds the problem. One way to think about it is that if you have nothing truthful to stay, then just say nothing.

Excuses make you look bad. When you make excuses for why someone drinks, you are not helping them at all. In fact, when you make these excuses to someone else, they look at you differently. They wonder why you would make excuses for someone’s attitude or drinking. If you have ever joined a group for family members of an alcoholic, you would be told that it is unacceptable to make excuses for any reason. This just helps the alcoholic keep drinking without taking responsibility for their actions.

Never hide the problem or you will enable the alcoholic to continue to fool everyone. This can cause more problems. If one day, the person you have protected and made excuses fro does something that is really bad, no one would believe you because you helped them hide behind excuses. You have to remember that if you want people to believe in you, you have to be honest and not lie or make excuses for the person the drinks. If someone asks you a question, answer it truthfully and never make an excuse.

If you are abused in some way, never cover up this fact. Many men and women have done this every day that they lived with an alcoholic and ended up regretting it. Women, especially can be abused and live with it. However, if one day, the man in your life decides to take the abuse one-step farther and you protect yourself, who would believe you. You had spent all your time covering up for what they did that no one would believe that this person could do this. You have to be honest and not cover up the abuse. You need to tell someone that can help you.

After the fight is over and he or she wakes up, do not be afraid to tell them once again what they have done. Many alcoholics do not remember what they did the next day when they wake up. Some even remember and feel remorse. Letting them off the hook for their actions will only make it okay the next time. They will know that whatever they do is okay because you will forget and forgive without a second thought. Make them understand what they did and how it has to stop. This is always a good time to mention that they need professional help.

If they miss work, you cannot keep making excuses. Many people with drinking problems have problems making it to work every day. Eventually they will have to explain to their boss why they are missing work. If you are asked to call into work for them because they just do not feel good from drinking the night before, the answer you give should be no, do it yourself. If they are going to keep drinking it is going to keep happening and sooner or later, you will be judged because you helped that person lie to get out of work.

Take control of your life and distance yourself from the fighting and messes that the person makes. This is hard to do especially if you love the person. Living with an alcoholic in your life is never easy. You have to avoid the fights and stay out of any messes that the person may get himself or herself into because of their drinking. Alcoholics will mess up more than once and they will always apologize, but the next time they take a drink, they forget and do it all over again.

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Getting Over Your Fear Of The Dentist

Dental anxiety or fearing the dentist is a problem that many people have, and something that is somewhat difficult to overcome. This fear normally prevents rational people from visiting the dentist and maintaining the health of their teeth. The key to keeping your teeth healthy is to prevent problems before they start. Those who suffer from dental anxiety will try to avoid going to the dentist, which results in problems.

When someone who suffers from dental anxiety finally goes to the dentist, they normally find that even the smallest of problems can turn serious and require a lot of work and intervention from the dentist. Even though you may not realize it, regular cleaning visits to your dentist is the best way to keep your teeth healthy, and prevent problems such as decay and cavities.

You can use several techniques to overcome dental anxiety. Some of the techniques require mild sedatives, also referred to as sedation. Sedation is a way to relax, given by breathing or IV (Intra Vein) through a vein in your arm. Sedation will help you to calm down, although you will normally be awake to answer questions or talk to your dentist.

Some people who suffer from dental anxiety have had bad experiences. Any type of negative dental experience will normally result in emotional scarring and last for years. Anything that results in negative feelings for the patient will normally cause them to feel in a negative way toward the entire dental profession. Although all dentists arent bad – a negative experience will certainly make a patient feel that way.

When you look fora dentist, you should always ask your family and friends who they use, and who they recommend. When you visit a dentist, you shouldnt hesitate to ask him any questions that come to mind, so you can be more relaxed. You should always keep in mind that you are customer, and the dentist is the one who needs to make you feel relaxed. Never should you feel intimidated, as the best dentists will do everything they can to establish a sense of trust.

Establishing trust is very important with the patient/dentist relationship. Youll be going to your dentist on a frequent basis, so youll want to be sure that you can trust him. When you go to your dentist for the first time, you should let him know about your dental anxiety. If he isnt willing to talk about it with you or do things to help you relax, you should look into a new dentist.

You can always tell who the better dentists are by the type of facilities they have. Dentists who have a lot of customers or nice offices, have established themselves and proved that they are indeed the best. If a dentist has a lot of customers, it lets you know that he has them for a reason. People that are satisfied with a dentist, normally return.

If you suffer from dental anxiety, you should always let your dentist know in advance. This way, he work with you to overcome your fear. Over time, youll find that you can overcome your fear and establish a great relationship with your dentist. You can get over your fear of dentists, no matter how bad your fear may be. It will take you some time, although your dentist should be willing to work with you. Before you know it, youll be over your fear and more than willing to go to your dentist.