Tag: Living With An Alcoholic

Join a Co-Dependency Group When You Live With an Alcoholic

Join a Co-Dependency Group When You Live With an Alcoholic

If you are co-dependent on an alcoholic, you may need to join a co-dependency group for help. Living with an alcoholic can be hard, but when you feel that you need to stay for one reason or another, it makes things even harder than they already are for you. There are groups for co-dependent friends or family members. These groups can help you understand why you need this person and what you might be able to do about it. If you think you are co-dependent, you will want to find a group that can help you so that you understand why you need this person.

They offer you the support you need. It is easier to sit in a group and hear others talk. When you do, you might learn a few things about yourself. You may find out that you really care about this person or you might find out that this person has control over you in a way that is not healthy to you. If you have kids or even if you don’t, you will want to find out why you stay and if it for a good reason or a bad reason. No one makes you do anything you do not want to do. They are there to help and listen.

If you want to leave the alcoholic, you need to learn why you stay first. Before you can get up and leave an alcoholic, you need to know why you stay. It might be that you stay because you deeply care about this person and want to help them. Living with an alcoholic can be hard, but if you have love for that person, it can be harder to live with. If you want to leave that person, you have to know why you stayed or hooked up with that person in the first place.

You need to understand why the person has control over you. If you stay with an alcoholic and you have no reason why or it is because you are afraid to be on your own, you need to know how this happened. Is this person controlling you? Is this person verbally abusing you and lowering your self-esteem? Is this person physically abusing you? Do you stay because you are afraid to leave for fear of what will happen? The co-dependency group can help you understand. You need to understand why you stay before you can understand yourself.

When you understand why you stay, you can then begin to help yourself. This is the only way to either live with an alcoholic or leave that person. The co-dependency group offers the support you need to talk about why you stay and what your own fears are. This group is a good way to find yourself. If you have been abused, this group can offer support and advice. You need to have someone to talk to about the problems that you live with every day.

The co-dependency group can help you in more ways that you think. When you attend a group, you will hear other people’s stories. You may even hear your story from someone else’s mouth. You are not alone. There is help for those that live with alcoholics. There are ways to take control of your life and help the other person as well. If you have children, it is especially important that you understand if you have a co-dependency issue.

If you are living with an alcoholic and you do not understand why you stay, you may need to attend a support group for co-dependency. You may not even realize why you stay. You have to understand yourself before you can understand what is happening to you. If you have children, you have to think about them as well as yourself. Maybe you need to take time away from the alcoholic to figure out what keeps you with that person. The co-dependency group can help you resolve any issues you might have before it is to late. Then again, you have to think about everyone concerned.

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How to Help the Alcoholic Join AA

If you live with an alcoholic, chances are good that you want him or her to quit drinking. This is not something that you can just mention in casual conversation when you are talking to someone that thinks that they do not have a problem. If you do, it could cause an argument because most alcoholics do not think that they have a problem. They usually retaliate that you are the one with the problem. You want the person to get help, but it is not easy to do. Most alcoholics do not receive any help until something bad happens. You can do a few things to try to help the person join AA.

Never be forceful or the person is not going to do it. Telling the person that they have to attend AA is not the answer. Even most judges that order a criminal to attend the group are just fooling themselves if they think the person is really trying to quit drinking. A person has to want to help him or herself. You can try to force the person, but this is going to cause more problems than you have already. You may mention it is casual conversation, but if the person does not see what they are doing, chances are, they will resist any conversation.

Offer your support when they need it. If you offer to give the person support and be there when they need you, they will see that you want to help. Often, this does not work as well as you want. Never support their drinking, but support them in the job and if they have any other good points. You have to compliment their good points to get the trust that you need to help them. This can be very hard to especially if you are fed up with the drinking.

Join a group such as Al-Anon so that he or she knows that you are there for them. Tell them that you joined the group because you need help understanding. There is nothing wrong with joining a group and letting them know that you are serious and worried about your life together. Living with an alcoholic is not all rosy, as some would think. The alcoholic does not just drink and pass out. They can be abusive without even knowing what they are doing. This is the saddest part of living with the alcoholic.

Introduce the alcoholic to a member of AA that they might get along with and talk. This one-step can work. If the person gets involved with someone that does not drink and they find something they both like to do, this could curb the drinking. It is not going to stop it, but as you see the difference, you can mention that is so nice to see him or her having fun or enjoying something. This is the first step to maybe getting the person to join AA and meet other people that also have drinking problems and want help.

Threats will not work. If you threaten to leave or take the kids and divorce the alcoholic, you are going to lose. Most alcoholics do not care what you do as long as they have the money to drink and a place to sleep. Then again, threatening to kick the person out will not work either. There is always someone that will allow him to drink. You will lose the battle if you use threats that the person does not care about anyways. Calling the authorities only works for so long as well. After a while the alcoholic will get more upset or leave and never return.

Volunteer to accompany them to the first meeting. If you are lucky enough to get a little cooperation, you can accompany him or her to a meeting. This will show that you do care and want the person to at least give it a try. You can be nonchalant about it because making a big deal will backfire. You have to be careful how you talk and what you sat when you live with an alcoholic. The mood can change in a second and you may never know why.

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How to Avoid Getting Discouraged When Living with an Alcoholic

How to Avoid Getting Discouraged When Living with an Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic in you life, it is hard not to get discouraged and just want to walk away. If you care about the person, you want to help them, but the truth is that they are the only one that can take the first steps to helping him to herself. You can try to help as much as possible and do things to make things easier to quit, but sometimes all the help and treatments in the world are not enough. You have to be positive and hope that the day will come when the person finally goes for treatment and wins the battle of alcoholism.

Remember why you fell in love with the person. This is important or you will not make it. Many times, you will hate the person and other times, you will see a part of them come shining through. It is even harder when you live with an alcoholic that drinks and becomes mean and then goes a couple days of being their same loving self. They become the person you fell in love with. However, it can end in a minute when they start drinking again. This is the hardest thing to live with.

Think about the person they used to be and how much fun you used to have. This can work for a time, but after years of abusing alcohol, it can be hard to think about the good times. The person that lives with an alcoholic needs to be strong. This can be hard for some people, but if you love the person, you have to try. It is hard to watch them do this to themselves, but you have to give them love anyway. It is possible to make a difference if you remain strong.

Remember that there is help for you and the alcoholic. There are groups that offer support to the spouse or family of the alcoholic. Al-Anon is a great group to join. You can hear others talk and can even relate to what they are saying. After all, you are living the same nightmare that most of them are living. You have to have support to make it through the hard times. This is vital to living with an alcoholic. The support should come from family and friends as well. If the family does not have a clue as to what is happening, they cannot offer support.

Look at picture albums and see the joyous times you shared. This is a mask of the problem, but it does help. You see the times when the drinking did not control your life. You see another person standing next to you. Browsing through picture albums with the sober alcoholic may bring back memories for him or her as well. Sometimes it is these times that they start to think about what they are doing and want a change.

If you are living with an alcoholic, you have to stand up and let them know that you are feeling alone. You have to let them know that you are there for them, but they are the ones that have to change. You cannot do it for them, but you can offer support and encouragement if they agree to treatment. You are part of the process, but the person that drinks is the only one that can make things better.

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Domestic Violence When Living With an Alcoholic

If you live with an alcoholic, you may live with domestic violence as well. Many people that drink can become violent if they get upset. This might not be the case for some, but when a person drinks, it changes how they think. The sad thing about domestic violence where an alcoholic is concerned is that they may never display this type of behavior when they are not drinking. However, even the mildest mannered person can show signs of an entirely different person when drinking. You have to walk on eggshells when you live with someone that drinks.

The first time you are hit, may be the only time for a while, but you cannot let your guard down ever. The apologies and kindness that follows may be comforting. Nevertheless, what happens the next time the alcoholic gets angry? You could be the fault of this as well. Sometimes you do not even have to be the root of the anger and you will still be the one that is abused. Domestic violence that continues will mean that other steps must be taken.

Calling the police can aggravate a situation, but you have to get help. If you are abused, you have to report it. If this type of behavior continues, the person will be made to seek help. They might even spend some time in jail, but they will get the help that they need. It is better to call for help than let things escalate and endanger your safety more. Judges are very helpful when sentencing time arrives. You can even talk to the prosecutor to make sure that the person receives the help that they need through a treatment program.

You need a time out away from each other. This is vital when you live with an abusive alcoholic. This means physical, mental or verbal abuse. No one should have to live with any type of abuse. If you are abused, then you need to call the police for help. The alcoholic will know that you are not going to take the abuse and the judge will know that the person needs help with his or her drinking and anger management. If you continue to let the abuse continue, you are putting your own life in danger. Just because the person is only hitting you once and a while in the back, arms or legs, does not mean that one day they will not snap and try to harm you more, or maybe even try to kill you.

Take your time and may sure that you really want him or her back home. After living with an abusive alcoholic that has gone to treatment, you still have to make sure that you can go back. If you have resentment and hatred for the person, you will not be able to live a happy life. If the person has stopped drinking, he or she may start again because of the tension in the home. You have to think long and hard before letting that person come back.

Even if an alcoholic gets help and learns to control their anger, you still may have to keep your guard up, which can lead to tension. This is not healthy for anyone including any kids in the home. You have to be sure that the abuse will not continue. You need reassurances that you might not get.

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