Tag: Hardest Thing

You are the Responsible One When You Live with an

You are the Responsible One When You Live with an Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic, you not only feel alone, but most of the time you really are when it comes to chores and the kids. You are the only adult in the home it feels like most of the time. You will not be able to rest until all the work around the house is done and if you want to go somewhere, you will take the kids with you because the other parent will not be able to care for them while he or she is drinking. You might even have to have a job on top of everything lese.

You will have to make sure the bills are paid on time. You will also need to make sure that the family has enough money for everything after the alcohol is bought out of the family budget. You may have to get a job just to survive and pay the bills. This could be the hardest thing you have to do in your life, especially if you thought that your spouse or partner was going to take care of the work and you wee going to take care of the house and the family. Things change when the alcohol consumes one of the partners.

You will usually have to clean and take out the garbage. This is just because it will at least get done the right way. He or she may want to do dishes, but when you try to do something when you are drunk, it usually backfires. Dirty dishes in the cupboards that are said to be clean can be disturbing. Taking out the garbage can also be a challenge and if you want everything to be taken out, then you will probably have to do it yourself. You can plan on doing almost everything around the house including cleaning up messes that he or she may make.

The person may not want supper when you do, so you will have to make sure that there is enough food leftover for them. This is something that can cause arguments. If dinner is not just right, it can trigger an argument. You will never win, so you always do what is asked of you, even if it means making something new. This can get old fast and make you wish that you were the one drinking. Just do not ever give up hope.

You will have to secretly keep a hold on the money and know where it is going. An alcoholic in you life means that money is going to be tight because they will always have money for alcohol, but may not have enough for anything else. If you want to keep your home and have things for the family including food, you need to take control of the money. Even if they say no, you must find a way to do it.

The kids will be your responsibility and you will need to keep them in line by yourself. You can pretty much figure that anything that requires the attention of a parent is going to be your responsibility. In some cases, you will even hear that you were the one that had kids. It can be hard on the kids just as much as it is on you. Kids need both parents for support and most of the time, they do not have this when one parent is an alcoholic. Living with an alcoholic can be challenging and devastating to kids and to you.

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Life with an Alcoholic May Not be Possible

If you have lived with an alcoholic for years and feel despair, you may need a change. No one should live without love and happiness. Sometimes it is not possible to stay with the alcoholic because you feel alone and helpless. You need something more in your life and the person is not able to give you what you need. Everyone needs to feel love and sometimes the person that you thought was the love of your life turns out to be your worst nightmare, literally. Sometimes life with an alcoholic is not possible and you may have to leave.

Sometimes, you just have to leave and try to get over him or her. This can be hard, but after the years of living the way you have been makes it a little easier. You may move out temporarily or permanently. Maybe you think that the person will change if you leave and they have to live on their own. You think that they do not need you anyways so they will probably not even care. This is the hardest feeling to live with for anyone. You may still care, but you do not believe that the person you are leaving does.

They want the alcohol more than they want you. This is hard to accept. You wonder why they would choose drinking over you. The truth hurts and you have to accept that you cannot help the person. No matter what you do, they always seem to find their way back to a bottle. You have to move on if you want a loving relationship. Then they do something that makes you feel all warm inside. They stop drinking for a while and things are wonderful until it starts again. Now, you have to start thinking about leaving all over again.

The hardest thing to do is leave someone that you love, but you have to sometimes. Even if they are wonderful for a time to keep you there with them, you still have to make a change. You have to think about yourself and make decisions that can be hard. The hardest part of living with an alcoholic is leaving them for their own good and yours. Sometimes it is hard to be strong, but you need all the courage you can find to say good-bye. You have to stand tall and have confidence in yourself, which you lost somewhere down the line.

You have to think about yourself. You cannot continue to live in fear or without a partner. You need love. You need companionship. You need to be free from the alcoholism. Even if you are not a drinker, you are affected by the drinking. Sometimes an alcoholic affects you more than the alcohol affects him or her. Even if you are not battered or abused, you are because the alcohol wins. You feel defeated by a bottle.

You lose years of being loved. However, you need to grow old with someone that can love you and cuddle you. You need someone that turns to you and not to a bottle. Living with an alcoholic is not easy and you grow tired of being the only one in the relationship that tries. The only choice you have is to leave and start new. You have to break free of the alcoholic and start a new life with someone that does not need alcohol to live. You need stability in your life for the first time in a long time.

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How to Avoid Getting Discouraged When Living with an Alcoholic

How to Avoid Getting Discouraged When Living with an Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic in you life, it is hard not to get discouraged and just want to walk away. If you care about the person, you want to help them, but the truth is that they are the only one that can take the first steps to helping him to herself. You can try to help as much as possible and do things to make things easier to quit, but sometimes all the help and treatments in the world are not enough. You have to be positive and hope that the day will come when the person finally goes for treatment and wins the battle of alcoholism.

Remember why you fell in love with the person. This is important or you will not make it. Many times, you will hate the person and other times, you will see a part of them come shining through. It is even harder when you live with an alcoholic that drinks and becomes mean and then goes a couple days of being their same loving self. They become the person you fell in love with. However, it can end in a minute when they start drinking again. This is the hardest thing to live with.

Think about the person they used to be and how much fun you used to have. This can work for a time, but after years of abusing alcohol, it can be hard to think about the good times. The person that lives with an alcoholic needs to be strong. This can be hard for some people, but if you love the person, you have to try. It is hard to watch them do this to themselves, but you have to give them love anyway. It is possible to make a difference if you remain strong.

Remember that there is help for you and the alcoholic. There are groups that offer support to the spouse or family of the alcoholic. Al-Anon is a great group to join. You can hear others talk and can even relate to what they are saying. After all, you are living the same nightmare that most of them are living. You have to have support to make it through the hard times. This is vital to living with an alcoholic. The support should come from family and friends as well. If the family does not have a clue as to what is happening, they cannot offer support.

Look at picture albums and see the joyous times you shared. This is a mask of the problem, but it does help. You see the times when the drinking did not control your life. You see another person standing next to you. Browsing through picture albums with the sober alcoholic may bring back memories for him or her as well. Sometimes it is these times that they start to think about what they are doing and want a change.

If you are living with an alcoholic, you have to stand up and let them know that you are feeling alone. You have to let them know that you are there for them, but they are the ones that have to change. You cannot do it for them, but you can offer support and encouragement if they agree to treatment. You are part of the process, but the person that drinks is the only one that can make things better.

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Help the Alcoholic before They Hit Bottom

If you know that the drinking problem is getting way out of control, you should get help for the alcoholic before they hit bottom. This means that you have to take matters into your own hands and talk to someone that can help. This will more than likely be a counselor or a doctor. You will need to get the person into treatment before it is too late. This sounds easy to do, but they are not going to go with you, you will have to have them committed to a hospital or treatment program. This is why covering up for the alcoholic is so wrong. You need people to know the problems for support.

If things are bad, you are scared, and things are out of control, ask for help. Committing the person to a hospital to dry out and have some sessions with a counselor or a doctor is the only way to stop the drinking. There are treatment plans that work very well and the person is never alone. They are always with someone so that they can talk about things. This is the best thing that can happen for both of you. Treatments for alcoholism are intense and they can deal with the withdrawals.

If the health of the alcoholic is in danger, you will need to take steps to get them help. Sometimes an alcoholic will become depressed and withdrawn. You must get them help before they do something stupid or that they will regret. You are the strong one at this time and you must step up and take charge. You will want someone to help you when you take the person to a treatment center. If they refuse to go, you can always ask for help from the police.

This is the hardest thing to do. The reason you are doing it is because you care about the person and you just cannot live this way anymore. It will be hard because you will miss the person, but you have to remember that when they are done is treatment, you will have the person you love back again. Life will not be as it was. This is when you have to remember that it is best for them and the rest of the family. You have to be firm, but not abusive. Yelling is not going to help. Get help if you need it to avoid any problems.

You will feel alone and they will not want anything to do with you right away. This is one of the hardest pats of committing someone for treatment. You just sit and cry because you feel so horrible. However, you have to remember why you did it. You have to tell yourself that you did it because it can help them and bring them back to you. You have to be strong. This would be a good time to visit a group such as Al-Anon and talk with others about how you feel. It does help easy the pain and loss of a mate.

In the end, they will dry out and be happy to be with you again. Once the initial shock is gone and the alcoholic is done with withdraws, they will want to see you. It may take some time, but they do finally clear their minds and want you. They remember your good times together and want you. You can then begin the healing process and start looking ahead. They have to want to move forward, so way for them to tell you when the time is right.

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