Tag: Footsteps

Talking to Children about the Alcoholic Parent

Living with an alcoholic is even more difficult when you have kids that are seeing this display. It is hard to explain to kids why one parent has to drink and not do anything with the family. In many cases, kids ask questions that need to be answered and you have a hard time doing it. You do not want them to hate the parent that drinks, but you also do not wan them to follow in the same footsteps. They also might not want to have friends over because of the drinking. As a parent, you have to talk to the kids so that they understand.

Be honest with the kids. If they have questions, you have to give them truthful answers. You do not have to say that the parent is a drunk, but you do have to explain that drinking is a disease and the parent needs help, but is not getting it. Explaining and answering their questions can be hard. Sometimes you just want to tell them that you do not know why the person drinks, but then you are not helping them understand anything. You need to be truthful, but you also have to shield them from some things about the alcoholic.

They have friends and they do not want their friends to see a drunken parent. This can be very hard for kids to understand. This is especially hard on the kids if the other kid’s parents are the ones forbidding the kids to come to your house. Many parents do not want their kids subjected to the problems or the alcohol abuse. They are afraid of what might happen. This hard for the kids and when the other kids cannot come and play at their house, they can become lonely and depressed.

You have to be strong for the kids, but you also need to make sure that they have a good life. This can be done by being there fro them and taking them to places where they will have fun with other kids. Sometimes it is easier to let the kids play at the neighbor’s house so they are not around the drinking, but then they are not getting the attention they need from the non-drinking parent. It is hard to have kids in a home where an alcoholic resides.

Ask them how they feel and listen. You need to understand how the kids feel. They have no one to talk to but you. It is not like they can discuss their feelings with their friends. You have to be there for them and listen to how they feel. It is not uncommon for children of alcoholic parents to grow up to drink. They are learning at a young age that drinking is acceptable unless you tell them differently.

Make sure that the kids understand that this is not how people should live. You have to stress the unhealthiness of drinking. You are the teacher and you have to make sure that the kids do not grow up thinking that this way of living is all there is for them. If you need help talking to a child, support groups and even a church minister can help. Children of alcoholic parents need to have some structure in their life outside of the home. You have to make sure that the kids are happy and well cared for so that they grow up to be well-adjusted adults even if you live with an alcoholic.

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Protect the Children from Alcohol Abuse

If you have children in the home, you must protect them from alcohol abuse. These means that they have to be protected form the alcohol and the alcoholic that may be abusive. Kids are very impressionable and learn from what they see or what is done to them. You have to be the one to break the cycle. If you do not protect the children from the abuse no matter if it is physical or because they see a parent drinking, they could grow up with the same tendencies. As a parent or even a friend, you must step in and prevent any problems before they start.

Kids will follow in the footsteps of a parent if they do not understand the consequences. This is not always true, but in most cases, it is what happens. Even if a child does not take after the parent, they may grow up to accept this type of behavior and put their own lives in danger or have nothing but heartache. You have to protect the children so that they know that this is not the way to live. However, sometimes this can be hard to do if you want to remain in the home.

If there is abuse in the home because of alcohol, you need to shield the kids from this abuse. If the abuse is physical, mental or verbal, kids should not have to live with it. it the abuse is watching their parent drink themselves into a drunken state, they need to know that this is not how people should live. As a parent, you have to make a decision whether to stay or take you children somewhere else where they will not be subjected to the abusive behavior or have to watch mom or dad drink themselves to death.

Never tell the kids that drinking is just something you do. It is not something that you just do. They need to understand that alcoholism is a disease that can have devastating affects on the person the family. This is important for children to understand. This does not mean that telling them that their parent is a loser or a bad person. You have to be truthful without being demeaning to the parent with the problem. Children are smart and will know that other families do live as you do.

You may need to leave the home for a while if the drinking leads to abusive behavior. This is the only way to protect the children and make sure that they do not grow up thinking that this is acceptable behavior. You also do not want to keep them in an abusive home. Not all alcoholics drink all the time, but even so, the kids should not be subjected to any abusive behavior from a parent. They also should be told that drinking is all right. As they grow up, they would stand a good chance of following in the footsteps of the alcoholic parent.

Take the kids to Al-Anon so that they have someone other than you to talk with. This is very important so that the kids have someone to talk to and listen to other kids in the same situation. If they have somewhere to go with others their age, it could help them understand what is happening and how to cope with their home life. It can also help them understand if you have to leave the home.

Talk with the kids if they have questions. You have to be honest without being judgmental. The kids will understand more if you talk to them instead of trying to hide the problem. Kids today, know more than what parents knew when they were kids and they see and hear things that they probably should not. This is the reason that you must be honest. Never badmouth the alcoholic parent because the kids could resent you.

When you are talking to the kids, ask them if they have questions and try to answer them the best you can. You can also expect to be asked why mom or dad yells at them or why the person has to do the things that he or she does. Answer honestly and try to help them understand.

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