Tag: Feelings

Offer Love and Conversation to the Alcoholic

If you live with an alcoholic, you want to offer love and conversation when they are not drinking. Trying this when they are drinking may be harder to do since you never know what their mood is or how they will react. You have to have an open line of communication even if the person is an alcoholic. You should not try talking about anything important when they are drinking, but engage is light conversation and leave the heavy discussions for when they are sober. Then you can have a friendly conversation. Just show them some love and hope that they like that better than what they get when they drink.

If the alcoholic is not a mean drunk, you can offer love. This of course depends on the mood of the alcoholic when he is drinking. Some alcoholics are mellow drunks, but even the mildest mannered alcoholic can switch moods just like that without warning. It can be like a roller coaster. One minute they can be sweet and loving and the next screaming at you because you said something that they did not like. This is a pattern with most alcoholics. You never know what you can say or do. It can change from day to day or even minute to minute.

When the alcoholic is not drinking, engage in conversation and try to touch on the drinking. This is the only time you have to discuss drinking. In most cases, they will tell you that they do not have a problem. They do not see it the same way that you do. You could point out a few things that they do when they drink and hope that they remember. You can tell them how it makes you feel when they have to drink all the time. It probably will not help them, but it can help you.

Explain that you want to care about them and do not want to see something bad happen. You can pour out your feelings and at least let them know how you feel, but chances are, they will only quick drinking for a few days and then start hiding it from you. This is common with alcoholics. If they know that you do not want them to drink, they will find ways to do it and hide it. It would not be uncommon to find empties in cupboards, down in the basement or out in the garage.

Talk about the future and things you would like to do. Make it clear that you want to enjoy a life with them, but you want them to be around for it. Make it clear that you are not really happy with the ways things are, but you would like to help make a change. Never tell them that they have to change, make it a change for both of you. You may not need to change, but telling them that is not going to mean a thing. You have to tell them that you will change with them.

Explain some of the health risks that you discovered. This may be one thing that could help. If they do not want to die at a young age, they may think about what you have to say. Of course, if they do not feel as if they have a problem, you could be talking to deaf ears. You can still try. Maybe if they see or feel some symptoms, they will think about what you said.

Try not to get upset or yell. Engage in a light conversation and if you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to collect your thoughts. The last thing the alcoholic wants to do is listen to you yell at them. If you do not walk away and calm down, they might just leave and find somewhere to drink. This will defeat the purpose of your talk. You have to be on eggshells when you live with an alcoholic if you want to help them. You can be caring when you talk, but do not expect that in return from the alcoholic. That may come over time.

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How to Help an Alcoholic Stop Drinking

If the person that you live with wants to stop drinking, you have to help as well. When an alcoholic wants to stop, you have to give up a few things that you may enjoy. The person will need your support when they are trying to stop the drinking and change. This is not easy for the person to do and you have to be the strong one again. You have to offer encouragement and not offer judgment. Judging the alcoholic that is asking for help is not going to work. You have to offer compassion and support. They are not just doing this for themselves. They are doing it for you as well.

Talk with them about what they are doing. This should be done when they are not drinking. You can calmly explain how the drinking is affecting the family. You can tell them how it has affected your children and your own feelings. In most cases, the alcoholic does not even realize what he or she has done to the family. They never take the time to see how their drinking affects anyone. All they know is that they were doing what they wanted to do.

Make sure that the person knows that you will stand by them through this time. This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but if you care about this person, you have to stand by them and offer any support that you can. If they join AA and continue to attend meetings, the 12-step program could bring up some bad memories that you do not want to hear, but you must listen and forgive or at least try. This is the hardest part of the 12-step program. It can bring back some horrible memories that could be very upsetting.

Offer to stop drinking in front of them if you drink. This is important until the alcoholic feels comfortable with what they are accomplishing. If the person is trying to refrain from drinking and attending meetings, you do not want to be drinking in front of him or her. You have to make some changes as well. You cannot sit and drink even a few cocktails in front of them because the urge to drink for them will be strong until they learn how to control those urges. They may have an urge and slip, but you could offer help there as well.

Offer to be with them whenever they feel a need to drink. If they feel the urge to drink coming, you can be there for the person. Make the thoughts and urges go away by offering to go for a walk or to take a ride. If you have never had an addiction, you cannot for a minute understand how the person feels inside. It is hard to control the urge if the person has been drinking for so long. Do something or go to a diner for a few coffees and just talk.

When the person wants to drink, think of something else the two of you could do instead. This is the best thing you could do for someone that wants to quit drinking, but is have problems with it. You have to be strong and offer to listen or just sit and hold their hand. You have to be supportive and do whatever you can to make sure that they have another option to drinking. It is not easy to overcome an addiction, but with your support and the help of a group or treatment, they can succeed.

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Combating Stress and Anxiety through Support Groups

Studies reveal that people with good friends are more able to cope with stress and anxiety than people who dont have any companions whose shoulders they can cry on. 85% of people today are said to suffer from stress and anxiety problems one way or another and these people will be able to handle stress and anxiety better if they find the courage to talk about it and ask for help and support.

Talking about Your Problems is Not a Weakness
Many individuals are in the opinion that talking about their problems is almost akin to revealing their weaknesses or admitting to their inability to cope with their problems. They must understand that talking is completely different from whining; its a fact that the act of talking is a way of releasing our pent-up emotions. Youre just letting off steam, so to speak, and that shall not be construed in any way as begging for pity or attention. It is also not another form of complaining but simply your way of asking for empathy. We feel better when people empathize with our situations and thats why we shouldnt keep our emotions to ourselves. Its destructive rather than constructive.

Factors to Determine the Best Support Group for Your Needs
Since we are all unique individuals, its possible that our needs for a support group are unique as well. What may work for you may not be suitable for another so its best to base your decision on your preferences alone.

Individual or Group Support
As mentioned previously, some people find it extremely difficult to talk about their feelings and problems in life. If this is your case, it may be best to start out with individual consultations with your therapist. Once you get comfortable with talking openly to a stranger, you could then move on to the next level and join a small support group.

Focal Point of Support Group
There are hundreds of support group to choose from and each support group has its own focal point of interest. Obviously, Alcoholics Anonymous is for the rehabilitation of alcoholics while there are other support groups that concentrate on increasing the self-confidence of its members. Choose the support group that can truly help you cope with your problems and consequently, eliminate stress and anxiety from your life. If youre a workaholic and too much overtime is the main reason why youre too jumpy most of the time, find a support group thats specifically meant to treat workaholics like you.

Time and Location of Meetings
It is best that you choose to join a support group that holds its meetings at the time and place youre sure to be available. Choosing a support group, in spite of its great objectives and wonderful staff, thats located in the next state would be highly impractical as you may have to travel for hours every time theres a meeting.

Type of Communication
Most support groups hold meetings where members can meet each other in person. People who prefer anonymity however may opt for other means of communication like joining an online group or talking to a volunteer on the phone. While face-to-face meetings are generally more effective, the end choice belongs entirely to you so choose the type of support group that youre most comfortable and most likely to stick with for a long time.

Title:

Title:
Invitro Fertilization – The Male Point Of View

Word Count:
514

Summary:
This article describes the process of Invitro Fertilization through the eyes of the male involved in the proces

Keywords:
Invitro, IVF, Artificial Fertilization

Article Body:
For many couples, the introduction of children into a relationship is the ultimate fulfillment and goal of the relationship. Unfortunately for some of the couples, medical conditions may exist that will prevent natural fertilization. In those cases, the affected couple may opt to conceive via Invitro Fertilization. For those couples of decide to pursue Invitro fertilization, the time leading up to the fertilization will be very process orientated – there will be consultations, evaluations, forms, literature and a lot of listening. At times it may seem overwhelming and frightening.

As the male participant in the process, your involvement will be largely in a support role, as most of the work that will need to be done will be with the female partner. To help make the process as easy for her, there are a number of facts to keep in mind and a number of actions you can take to help keep your partner’s spirits up and to help her in the necessary steps to achieve a successful fertilization.

– You and your partner may struggle with the fact that you are unable to conceive by natural means. However, keep in mind – although it may not be a natural form of conception, the end result and the end goal of the process is the same – a healthy child. The two of you are merely trying to maximize the possibility of a healthy & successful pregnancy. Talk through this point and be open to her feelings.

– There will be a lot of absorb about the process, so take notes and do your research.

– Some of the medications required for the process will need to be administered via injection. Offer to administer the shots if your partner is not comfortable doing so, and keep in mind that she will most likely be very sore in the injection spots because of repeated shots. A little tender loving care will help keep her confident and comfortable. Also, a heating pad may help during periods where her abdomen is very tender.

– Your partner will be asked to take very specific medications, at very specific times and she will

need to consult with the doctor on a somewhat frequent basis, often times on very short notice. Make sure to keep your schedule as free as possible so you can assist in transportation and medicine administration as needed.

– Your partner may experience emotional mood swing because of some of the meds. One minute she might be sitting at the table reading the newspaper, the next she is crying about something unrelated. Be prepared, be supportive and remember that her mood will return to normal in time.

– Always remember – you have the easy part of the process!

Invitro is not an easy process, especially compared to natural fertilization. But with care, cooperation and a willingness to help out where needed, you can be active and helpful throughout the fertilization period.

The information in this article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice or medical services. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, promptly contact your doctor promptly.