Tag: Apologies

Domestic Violence When Living With an Alcoholic

If you live with an alcoholic, you may live with domestic violence as well. Many people that drink can become violent if they get upset. This might not be the case for some, but when a person drinks, it changes how they think. The sad thing about domestic violence where an alcoholic is concerned is that they may never display this type of behavior when they are not drinking. However, even the mildest mannered person can show signs of an entirely different person when drinking. You have to walk on eggshells when you live with someone that drinks.

The first time you are hit, may be the only time for a while, but you cannot let your guard down ever. The apologies and kindness that follows may be comforting. Nevertheless, what happens the next time the alcoholic gets angry? You could be the fault of this as well. Sometimes you do not even have to be the root of the anger and you will still be the one that is abused. Domestic violence that continues will mean that other steps must be taken.

Calling the police can aggravate a situation, but you have to get help. If you are abused, you have to report it. If this type of behavior continues, the person will be made to seek help. They might even spend some time in jail, but they will get the help that they need. It is better to call for help than let things escalate and endanger your safety more. Judges are very helpful when sentencing time arrives. You can even talk to the prosecutor to make sure that the person receives the help that they need through a treatment program.

You need a time out away from each other. This is vital when you live with an abusive alcoholic. This means physical, mental or verbal abuse. No one should have to live with any type of abuse. If you are abused, then you need to call the police for help. The alcoholic will know that you are not going to take the abuse and the judge will know that the person needs help with his or her drinking and anger management. If you continue to let the abuse continue, you are putting your own life in danger. Just because the person is only hitting you once and a while in the back, arms or legs, does not mean that one day they will not snap and try to harm you more, or maybe even try to kill you.

Take your time and may sure that you really want him or her back home. After living with an abusive alcoholic that has gone to treatment, you still have to make sure that you can go back. If you have resentment and hatred for the person, you will not be able to live a happy life. If the person has stopped drinking, he or she may start again because of the tension in the home. You have to think long and hard before letting that person come back.

Even if an alcoholic gets help and learns to control their anger, you still may have to keep your guard up, which can lead to tension. This is not healthy for anyone including any kids in the home. You have to be sure that the abuse will not continue. You need reassurances that you might not get.

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Living with an Alcoholic That Says I’m Sorry

When you live with an alcoholic that always apologizes for hurting you, eventually the apologies do not mean much. If the person continues to do the things that they keep saying their sorry for, you have to wonder if they ever meant one word of the apology. This is a common feeling. You can only listen to apologies so many times before you start to think that it is a programmed response that has no meaning. Alcoholics are great at saying that they are sorry, but they have a hard time not doing the same thing again. When you love someone, this is hard to understand.

The first time something happens, they will be sorry the next day. This is because they have sober up and more than likely, they have a memory of what they have done or you have told them. They will be sweet and apologetic because they truly are sorry. However, they can promise it will never happen again, but when they drink, they have no control over what they do. It can happen again. This time it might be a little worst then the first time. After the first time, you felt content to believe them, but if it happens again, you have to think about whether or not they really meant it.

Once it happens again, and they say they are sorry, you have to start wondering when it will happen again and again. This is the hardest part of living with an alcoholic. You never know for sure if they mean anything that they say. You start to doubt their love for you and wonder why they never lash out at anyone else. Sometimes they do, but it is rare for an alcoholic to just go off on someone that did not provoke them, accept you.

Then you start to wonder if they will ever say they are sorry and mean it. This is the worst feeling in the world. You are doubting their sincerity and you start to doubt other things that they say to you including that fact that they love you. You start to think how they could do this to you repeatedly if they did love you. Now, you not only live with an alcoholic, you live with the doubt. This can eat away at you to no end. This is when the trust starts to fade.

After years of hearing sorry, you just do not believe them anymore. You doubt every word they say to you and you cannot believe anything that they say to you. The home is no longer a home. It turns into a prison that you made for yourself. You now have more confusion and do not know what to do. You still care for the person, but you wonder if you could ever love that person again. The times of happiness are gone and all you are left with is drinking and broken promises.

You lose all hope and feel all alone. You want to leave, but you feel as if you owe the person something. You can become withdrawn and hopeless. You may even wonder why you should be the only responsible and sober person in the home. You start to feel all alone with no one to turn to for help. You look for answers, but you find emptiness. You wonder what to do next. Your life has not turned out as you expected it to when you first met the person and you need happiness to live. You turn to someone else or you turn to the same demon that took the love from you.

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