Tag: Alcoholics

Living with an Alcoholic That Says I’m Sorry

When you live with an alcoholic that always apologizes for hurting you, eventually the apologies do not mean much. If the person continues to do the things that they keep saying their sorry for, you have to wonder if they ever meant one word of the apology. This is a common feeling. You can only listen to apologies so many times before you start to think that it is a programmed response that has no meaning. Alcoholics are great at saying that they are sorry, but they have a hard time not doing the same thing again. When you love someone, this is hard to understand.

The first time something happens, they will be sorry the next day. This is because they have sober up and more than likely, they have a memory of what they have done or you have told them. They will be sweet and apologetic because they truly are sorry. However, they can promise it will never happen again, but when they drink, they have no control over what they do. It can happen again. This time it might be a little worst then the first time. After the first time, you felt content to believe them, but if it happens again, you have to think about whether or not they really meant it.

Once it happens again, and they say they are sorry, you have to start wondering when it will happen again and again. This is the hardest part of living with an alcoholic. You never know for sure if they mean anything that they say. You start to doubt their love for you and wonder why they never lash out at anyone else. Sometimes they do, but it is rare for an alcoholic to just go off on someone that did not provoke them, accept you.

Then you start to wonder if they will ever say they are sorry and mean it. This is the worst feeling in the world. You are doubting their sincerity and you start to doubt other things that they say to you including that fact that they love you. You start to think how they could do this to you repeatedly if they did love you. Now, you not only live with an alcoholic, you live with the doubt. This can eat away at you to no end. This is when the trust starts to fade.

After years of hearing sorry, you just do not believe them anymore. You doubt every word they say to you and you cannot believe anything that they say to you. The home is no longer a home. It turns into a prison that you made for yourself. You now have more confusion and do not know what to do. You still care for the person, but you wonder if you could ever love that person again. The times of happiness are gone and all you are left with is drinking and broken promises.

You lose all hope and feel all alone. You want to leave, but you feel as if you owe the person something. You can become withdrawn and hopeless. You may even wonder why you should be the only responsible and sober person in the home. You start to feel all alone with no one to turn to for help. You look for answers, but you find emptiness. You wonder what to do next. Your life has not turned out as you expected it to when you first met the person and you need happiness to live. You turn to someone else or you turn to the same demon that took the love from you.

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How to Help the Alcoholic Join AA

If you live with an alcoholic, chances are good that you want him or her to quit drinking. This is not something that you can just mention in casual conversation when you are talking to someone that thinks that they do not have a problem. If you do, it could cause an argument because most alcoholics do not think that they have a problem. They usually retaliate that you are the one with the problem. You want the person to get help, but it is not easy to do. Most alcoholics do not receive any help until something bad happens. You can do a few things to try to help the person join AA.

Never be forceful or the person is not going to do it. Telling the person that they have to attend AA is not the answer. Even most judges that order a criminal to attend the group are just fooling themselves if they think the person is really trying to quit drinking. A person has to want to help him or herself. You can try to force the person, but this is going to cause more problems than you have already. You may mention it is casual conversation, but if the person does not see what they are doing, chances are, they will resist any conversation.

Offer your support when they need it. If you offer to give the person support and be there when they need you, they will see that you want to help. Often, this does not work as well as you want. Never support their drinking, but support them in the job and if they have any other good points. You have to compliment their good points to get the trust that you need to help them. This can be very hard to especially if you are fed up with the drinking.

Join a group such as Al-Anon so that he or she knows that you are there for them. Tell them that you joined the group because you need help understanding. There is nothing wrong with joining a group and letting them know that you are serious and worried about your life together. Living with an alcoholic is not all rosy, as some would think. The alcoholic does not just drink and pass out. They can be abusive without even knowing what they are doing. This is the saddest part of living with the alcoholic.

Introduce the alcoholic to a member of AA that they might get along with and talk. This one-step can work. If the person gets involved with someone that does not drink and they find something they both like to do, this could curb the drinking. It is not going to stop it, but as you see the difference, you can mention that is so nice to see him or her having fun or enjoying something. This is the first step to maybe getting the person to join AA and meet other people that also have drinking problems and want help.

Threats will not work. If you threaten to leave or take the kids and divorce the alcoholic, you are going to lose. Most alcoholics do not care what you do as long as they have the money to drink and a place to sleep. Then again, threatening to kick the person out will not work either. There is always someone that will allow him to drink. You will lose the battle if you use threats that the person does not care about anyways. Calling the authorities only works for so long as well. After a while the alcoholic will get more upset or leave and never return.

Volunteer to accompany them to the first meeting. If you are lucky enough to get a little cooperation, you can accompany him or her to a meeting. This will show that you do care and want the person to at least give it a try. You can be nonchalant about it because making a big deal will backfire. You have to be careful how you talk and what you sat when you live with an alcoholic. The mood can change in a second and you may never know why.

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Acupuncture and Drug Abuse

Acupuncture is a bright light on the road to recovery for many drug addicts and alcoholics. As an addict is recovering, the physical and psychological urge to get another fix or get another drink can be overwhelming. If the addict can get past that feeling, there is more hope for another successful day on the road to recovery. Currently there are a number of chemicals to help reduce that feeling, such as the nicotine patches to help people stop smoking. However, a major advantage of using acupuncture is that it uses no chemicals in the treatment, can be used for a number of different addictions, and is quite inexpensive compared to a number of other treatments.

Let’s take a look into a clinic that uses acupuncture to treat recovering addicts. Before the clinic used acupuncture, it was somewhat loud and not a pleasant place to be. The treatment room holds dozens of clients at the same time, each sitting in a chair. Each person sits with five long needles dangling from each ear. Depending on the person, a few also have some acupuncture needles in their hands, arms, or feet. When the time comes to remove the needles, some are removed by one of the acupuncture practitioners, or an assistant, or some clients remove their own needles at the appropriate time. Needles are left in the patient for an average of about forty-five minutes. The chairs are arranged so that the clients can see and talk to each other if they wish. This helps when they share experiences, and helps if some of the new clients are nervous about the use of acupuncture. The room, though it holds a number of often troubled patients, is generally quite calm and peaceful.

What advantage is there in using acupuncture for a recovering addict? Most of the addicts describe a release of that feeling that insists they must find a fix or must find a drink. The patient describes it as the feeling when you get home after a long day and take off your shoes. The effect of the treatment lasts for about a day, and so newly recovering addicts are scheduled for daily treatments. People such as dry alcoholics can come by on a periodic basis, or when they feel they need another acupuncture treatment. Many dry alcoholics are fine as long as their daily life is not stressful, but if a family problem arises at home or at work, the familiar feeling becomes strong once again. At those times an acupuncture clinic is a great help, for it affects an actual physical change in the person.

Many detox clinics that use acupuncture in its regimen incorporate it into an overall program, where the acupuncture treatments are the first steps that a patient takes. A typical clinic will schedule a new patient for daily acupuncture sessions, and at each session take a sample to ensure the patient has not used drugs during the past day. After 10 “clean” days, the patient is considered in sufficient shape to start additional therapy, such as a twelve step program. Acupuncture treatments continue during this time. If a patient has a relapse, the patient just starts all over again with the ten day acupuncture treatment.

Using acupuncture in recovery programs has definite advantages, both economically and in support of physical and mental health for the recovering addicts. It is just another example where the use of acupuncture incorporates healing in all areas: physical, mental, and emotional.

Alcohol Abuse And Depression Statistics-Illusion Of Fixing The Problem

Statistics point out that as many as one in ten people who are depressed also have a drinking problem. Alcohol abuse and depression is an awful combination that makes both problems worse. There are people who use alcohol to “self-medicate” their depression away. While this may give them the illusion of fixing the problem, the truth is that drinking alcohol only serves to deepen the depression.

People with depression are not thinking as clearly as they can, and alcohol dulls the senses as well. Anybody can build up a tolerance to alcohol, but it’s much more problematic for someone who is depressed. They are less likely to realize that they are drinking more to get the same effect, and this can quickly lead to alcohol abuse. Not only can the alcohol cause intolerance, but the depressed person is also in a state of mind where they don’t care about a lot of things.

It is believed that about 40% of alcoholics exhibit signs of clinical depression, and 10% of people who are depressed abuse alcohol. Those are some interesting numbers, but there is no way to know what the actual cause and effect is. Perhaps people who are predisposed to alcoholism are also predisposed to depression, and vice-versa. Regardless of the accuracy of these numbers, alcohol abuse and depression need to be taken seriously.

The symptoms associated with depression and alcohol abuse can often be similar. Both conditions bring about behavioral changes, though there are some that are more related to one disease or the other. Impulsive acts, impaired judgment, and isolation are common to both diseases; whereas acts of aggression and violence tend to be related to alcoholism, and suicidal thoughts are related to depression. However, there are many lines of gray here, so it’s not always easy to tell which condition is causing which symptoms. The main thing is to take all of these symptoms seriously and to seek help from a qualified professional as soon as possible.

There is some evidence that alcoholism may be genetic, or at the very least, a learned conditioned. People who had parents that abused alcohol are more likely to abuse it themselves. Furthermore, they are likely to have a higher tolerance for alcohol, which also puts them at risk. The same basic thing can be said (except for the part about alcohol tolerance) about people who had depressed parents. Their odds of being depressed are also higher.

Alcohol abuse and depression often occur side-by-side, so it can be very difficult figuring out what the root of the problem is. However, because the two diseases are especially bad when combined with one another, it is very important to get help if both conditions are present. Seeking qualified medical advice as soon as possible is the key to an effective recover. There are several treatment options available, and it is worth seeking them out. It doesn’t happen overnight, but you can be sure that a happier life waits for those who get these diseases under control.