Tag: Alcoholics

Changing Your Own Drinking Habits

If you drink when out with friends or at home with the partner that drinks, you make have to make a change if you want the alcoholic to stop. An alcoholic cannot stop drinking if they live in a house with someone that drinks even one cocktail a week. They see you drinking and determine that if you are happy with your drinking, you should accept their drinking. If they want to stop and you drink in front of them, they will not be able to do it. An alcoholic that wants to stop cannot around someone that drinks in front of them or that goes out and comes home smelling of alcohol.

You might have to stop drinking. This is the only way that you can show your support for the alcoholic that is trying to stop drinking. It is also the only way that you can make your point that you do not want them to drink. You cannot tell someone that they cannot do something if you do it. Remember that the alcoholic does not think that they have a drinking problem. They are just drinking as you do. You have to make some changes with your own drinking habits if you want to make an appeal for the alcoholic to stop drinking.

Maybe you can go with friends somewhere else to drink when you are gone for the weekend or overnight. However, this is just another deception in your relationship. Some alcoholics do not want to stop, but if you sit and drink with them, they think that you accept their drinking. If you sneak out to drink, you are just doing what they could do. If you want to enjoy a night out, you may want to drink non-alcoholic drinks. If you do drink, you should not be preaching to the band even if you only drink occasionally.

Talk to him or her and see how they feel about your drinking. In some cases, the alcoholic knows that they have a problem and they know that you only have a few drinks here and there. They may not have a problem with this. However, if they think that because you drink, this means that they can drink, you may need to stop even if they have no problem with you drinking. This sounds ridiculous, but it can happen. Many alcoholics know they have a problem and they know that their spouse or partner does not.

Should you be supportive and hide your drinking from the alcoholic in your life? This should never be done if you want to keep the lies out of the picture. An alcoholic lies and hides their drinking when their family wants them to stop. You would be doing the exact same thing. You may want a drink sometimes, but if you do, you must not hide it. This can only cause more problems in the relationship.

If you have problems understanding why you cannot have a drink, you may have to reexamine your own feelings for the person. Sometimes a person finds it hard to change because they are not the one with the problem. This might be true, but if you live with an alcoholic, you have to make changes and sacrifices. This is just part of the problem. If you feel that you should not have to give anything up, then maybe you need to think about what you want.

If you think that giving up drinking is hard, then maybe you should. If you think that you cannot change the way you live to be with an alcoholic, then you might not be in the right relationship. Sometimes you have to make a decision that means that you cannot have a drink or you cannot go out with friends. This is a choice that you have to make. You have to be sure of what you want. Sometimes to be right, you have to stop drinking so that the alcoholic knows that you want them to do it as well.

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Avoid Having Alcohol in the Home

When you live with an alcoholic in your life, you have to change the way you live. You have to change the way you keep your house stocked with beverages. You have to realize that having alcohol in the home is a thing of the past. An alcoholic does not care where the drink comes from as long as they can drink it. This is hard to understand for many people. If you do not have a drinking problem, but enjoy a drink occasionally, you will have to make some changes. The sad thing is that you may have to be the one to hide the alcohol.

If you drink, you have to use good judgment. You have to realize that living with an alcoholic and drinking yourself can make for some intense moments. It may make you feel superior and able to say things that you normally would not. This could create some arguments and even some abusive behavioral on both parts. If you do drink, it should be on moderation and make sure that you do not need to discuss anything with your spouse or partner when you are drinking.

Keep alcohol out of sight if you live with an alcoholic in your life. This is important, but it is also necessary. Many alcoholics will hide their empties so that you do not know that they are drinking, but now you will have to be the one hiding the alcohol if you want to keep it in the house. This now becomes a really bad living situation. Unfortunately, if you want alcohol in the house for yourself or for when guests stop over, you will have to keep it out of sight.

A lock on the liquor cabinet will not deter the alcoholic in you life. If the person knows that there is alcohol in the house, even if you use a lock and key to keep them out, they will find a way. This is sad because you want to feel safe and secure in your home, but the problem is already inside. You have to change the way you live when you live with an alcoholic. There is no easy way to keep alcoholic beverages in the house where an alcoholic lives.

If you have alcohol in the house, be prepared to have it disappear quickly. This is a problem for anyone that keeps alcohol in the house. Just because Aunt Sally brought it over for when she visits will not mean a thing. The alcoholic that needs a drink does not care whose alcohol it is but only that it is there and they need it. This can cause more problems when Aunt Sally comes for a visit and the alcohol is gone. You have to explain and tell the truth instead of covering it up.

Hiding alcohol is not the answer, but unfortunately, it is the only way you can keep alcohol in the house if you do. Sometimes you will feel like this is not worth it and get discouraged. This is the time you need to talk to someone. Living with an alcoholic that seeks and finds the alcohol to drink has a problem and most counselors will tell you not to keep alcohol in the house at all. This is not what you want to hear, but short of sleeping with the alcohol next to your bed, this may be the only way to stop the alcoholic from drinking what is not theirs.

You may need to have an alcohol free home to deter drinking at home. This is not hard to do if you do not want a cocktail now and then. If you are just a casual drinker and only want a few cocktails, you will have to decide what is more important. This is hard, but then again, living with an alcoholic is hard most of the time. There is no easy way to live with a person that has a drinking problem. You have to make sacrifices in most cases to make things work.

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Offer Love and Conversation to the Alcoholic

If you live with an alcoholic, you want to offer love and conversation when they are not drinking. Trying this when they are drinking may be harder to do since you never know what their mood is or how they will react. You have to have an open line of communication even if the person is an alcoholic. You should not try talking about anything important when they are drinking, but engage is light conversation and leave the heavy discussions for when they are sober. Then you can have a friendly conversation. Just show them some love and hope that they like that better than what they get when they drink.

If the alcoholic is not a mean drunk, you can offer love. This of course depends on the mood of the alcoholic when he is drinking. Some alcoholics are mellow drunks, but even the mildest mannered alcoholic can switch moods just like that without warning. It can be like a roller coaster. One minute they can be sweet and loving and the next screaming at you because you said something that they did not like. This is a pattern with most alcoholics. You never know what you can say or do. It can change from day to day or even minute to minute.

When the alcoholic is not drinking, engage in conversation and try to touch on the drinking. This is the only time you have to discuss drinking. In most cases, they will tell you that they do not have a problem. They do not see it the same way that you do. You could point out a few things that they do when they drink and hope that they remember. You can tell them how it makes you feel when they have to drink all the time. It probably will not help them, but it can help you.

Explain that you want to care about them and do not want to see something bad happen. You can pour out your feelings and at least let them know how you feel, but chances are, they will only quick drinking for a few days and then start hiding it from you. This is common with alcoholics. If they know that you do not want them to drink, they will find ways to do it and hide it. It would not be uncommon to find empties in cupboards, down in the basement or out in the garage.

Talk about the future and things you would like to do. Make it clear that you want to enjoy a life with them, but you want them to be around for it. Make it clear that you are not really happy with the ways things are, but you would like to help make a change. Never tell them that they have to change, make it a change for both of you. You may not need to change, but telling them that is not going to mean a thing. You have to tell them that you will change with them.

Explain some of the health risks that you discovered. This may be one thing that could help. If they do not want to die at a young age, they may think about what you have to say. Of course, if they do not feel as if they have a problem, you could be talking to deaf ears. You can still try. Maybe if they see or feel some symptoms, they will think about what you said.

Try not to get upset or yell. Engage in a light conversation and if you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to collect your thoughts. The last thing the alcoholic wants to do is listen to you yell at them. If you do not walk away and calm down, they might just leave and find somewhere to drink. This will defeat the purpose of your talk. You have to be on eggshells when you live with an alcoholic if you want to help them. You can be caring when you talk, but do not expect that in return from the alcoholic. That may come over time.

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Living with the Lies and Deceit from the Alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic can be hard enough with the drinking, but if the alcoholic also lies and is deceitful, it can makes things worst. You have to wonder which part of the conversation is a lie and which part is the truth. You may find out things that you wish you never heard, but the truth is that an alcoholic can lie and not even bat an eyelash. Not all alcoholics are deceitful and lie, but most are at some point in their lives. You really have to be strong to live with an alcoholic. You have to be in love to go through all of the problems that come with an alcoholic.

The lies can hurt more than the alcohol addiction. This depends on the type of lies, but if it is about relationships, you can become bitter and may even want to leave the person. The alcoholic can lie about money, work, other relationships or just about every day happenings. You are left behind when the alcoholic lies and tries to hide things from you. The sad thing about this is that you always find out about the lies and when you confront them, they act as if you have loss your mind. In most cases, this is exactly how you feel.

The deceit is something that the alcoholic is good at doing. They can tell you one thing and be doing another. They always feel that they are right and you are wrong. What they do is not deceitful because they are not doing anything wrong. After you live like for a few years, you begin to wonder why you live like this. You want answers, but chances are the answer would be a lie anyway. After time, the alcoholic has told so many lies that he or she honestly believes the lies and the truth fades into the background.

Sometimes the person will steal if they need money for a drink. This is a problem for any family. There always seems that the money goes fast enough without having someone take it for alcohol. You have to keep your money safe and place somewhere where no one but you knows where it is when you need it. This way of living is not healthy, but if you want to live with the alcoholic, you have to keep the money safe.

You have to make your own decisions whether to stay or leave. With all the lies and deceit, you can become withdrawn and start to doubt yourself. You wonder about your self-worth. Your self-esteem is affected. You wonder if this is all your life is going to be. Are you just on this earth to live with a person that drinks, steals and lies? You need someone to talk to that can reassure you that you are a great person. The person that lives with the alcoholic can become very depressed because of the lies and deceit.

You need to have someone to talk to so that you do not feel alone. If the alcoholic does lie, chances are that your friends and family already know that there is trouble. You need to take care of yourself and forget about everything else if you start doubting yourself. If you feel as if you are losing your mind, you need help. The person that drinks can make you feel as if it is you that is losing your mind and they are not the one telling a lie. This is very hard to take. You need help for yourself.

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