Tag: Alcoholic

Attend Parties That Do Not Serve Alcohol

If you are living with an alcoholic that is still drinking or is attending AA or another treatment, you have to plan for the parties or events that you attend. Going to a brat fry where alcohol is served is not the best idea. Attending a wine tasting event or joining friends for a birthday party where alcohol will be served should be avoided. Your life is different when you live with an alcoholic. You try to stay away from events that serve alcohol, even a family gathering. You even change the way you have parties and hope that everyone understands.

If you are having a party, you should have a non-alcohol party. This can be hard to sell to your friends and family, but if they know the situation, they should be more than happy to attend and do without the drinking. In some cases, you might have a smaller party than you wanted. However, you have to think positive. You are doing this for the both of you and not for anyone else. It can be a touchy situation if the family and friends do not know why you are doing this.

If your guests are confused, you can explain or tell them that you do not feel it is appropriate at the time. If they understand the problem, they may be more apt to attend and have a good time without drinking. Not all of the people will accept what you are saying, but in most cases, people that care will be willing to have an alcohol free party. It can be hard for the recovering alcoholic to be around any alcohol and this is the only way you can help. If the person is still drinking, this can save from some embarrassing moments.

Try to attend parties that are not serving alcohol. This is hard if your friends and family drink. Try making some new friends that do not have to drink. In some cases, a person that attends group meetings will make friends with other members and they will enjoy doing things together with their families. This is just another way that groups help the alcoholic. If you have some other things you can do, you do them. Family picnics or even taking the kids on a hike does not require alcohol. Do things that will not tempt the person to drink.

Attend some events where alcohol is not served and have fun. You have to show him or her that you can have fun without drinking. This might be hard to do because the person may be annoyed or depressed because they would rather drink. You just have to enjoy yourself and show them that it is fun to do things without drinking. You could be fighting a losing battle, but at least you will have a few hours without someone being intoxicated. This is great if you have kids.

If you are having a child’s birthday, do not serve alcohol to anyone. People always seem to have alcoholic beverages at a kids birthday parties, but you can refrain and have a party for the kids instead for the adults. Just make it known that this is a party for a kid and you do not feel that alcohol is needed. You could also explain that there are problems with alcohol in the family and you prefer to keep the party free from any drinking.

Be prepared for an attitude from the alcoholic when you attend parties with no alcohol. They can become upset, inattentive, depressed and frigidity. You can only try to enjoy yourself and try to include them in the fun. The alcoholic that needs alcohol will have to start to have fun or suffer. This is harsh, but it is the only way to show them that you are serious about enjoying things without the drinking. It is possible to get them to have fun. You just have to try and include them, but do not force them to try. They will get the picture when they see you enjoying yourself.

XXXXX

Word count 687

You are the Responsible One When You Live with an

You are the Responsible One When You Live with an Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic, you not only feel alone, but most of the time you really are when it comes to chores and the kids. You are the only adult in the home it feels like most of the time. You will not be able to rest until all the work around the house is done and if you want to go somewhere, you will take the kids with you because the other parent will not be able to care for them while he or she is drinking. You might even have to have a job on top of everything lese.

You will have to make sure the bills are paid on time. You will also need to make sure that the family has enough money for everything after the alcohol is bought out of the family budget. You may have to get a job just to survive and pay the bills. This could be the hardest thing you have to do in your life, especially if you thought that your spouse or partner was going to take care of the work and you wee going to take care of the house and the family. Things change when the alcohol consumes one of the partners.

You will usually have to clean and take out the garbage. This is just because it will at least get done the right way. He or she may want to do dishes, but when you try to do something when you are drunk, it usually backfires. Dirty dishes in the cupboards that are said to be clean can be disturbing. Taking out the garbage can also be a challenge and if you want everything to be taken out, then you will probably have to do it yourself. You can plan on doing almost everything around the house including cleaning up messes that he or she may make.

The person may not want supper when you do, so you will have to make sure that there is enough food leftover for them. This is something that can cause arguments. If dinner is not just right, it can trigger an argument. You will never win, so you always do what is asked of you, even if it means making something new. This can get old fast and make you wish that you were the one drinking. Just do not ever give up hope.

You will have to secretly keep a hold on the money and know where it is going. An alcoholic in you life means that money is going to be tight because they will always have money for alcohol, but may not have enough for anything else. If you want to keep your home and have things for the family including food, you need to take control of the money. Even if they say no, you must find a way to do it.

The kids will be your responsibility and you will need to keep them in line by yourself. You can pretty much figure that anything that requires the attention of a parent is going to be your responsibility. In some cases, you will even hear that you were the one that had kids. It can be hard on the kids just as much as it is on you. Kids need both parents for support and most of the time, they do not have this when one parent is an alcoholic. Living with an alcoholic can be challenging and devastating to kids and to you.

XXXXX

Word Count 594

Protect the Children from Alcohol Abuse

If you have children in the home, you must protect them from alcohol abuse. These means that they have to be protected form the alcohol and the alcoholic that may be abusive. Kids are very impressionable and learn from what they see or what is done to them. You have to be the one to break the cycle. If you do not protect the children from the abuse no matter if it is physical or because they see a parent drinking, they could grow up with the same tendencies. As a parent or even a friend, you must step in and prevent any problems before they start.

Kids will follow in the footsteps of a parent if they do not understand the consequences. This is not always true, but in most cases, it is what happens. Even if a child does not take after the parent, they may grow up to accept this type of behavior and put their own lives in danger or have nothing but heartache. You have to protect the children so that they know that this is not the way to live. However, sometimes this can be hard to do if you want to remain in the home.

If there is abuse in the home because of alcohol, you need to shield the kids from this abuse. If the abuse is physical, mental or verbal, kids should not have to live with it. it the abuse is watching their parent drink themselves into a drunken state, they need to know that this is not how people should live. As a parent, you have to make a decision whether to stay or take you children somewhere else where they will not be subjected to the abusive behavior or have to watch mom or dad drink themselves to death.

Never tell the kids that drinking is just something you do. It is not something that you just do. They need to understand that alcoholism is a disease that can have devastating affects on the person the family. This is important for children to understand. This does not mean that telling them that their parent is a loser or a bad person. You have to be truthful without being demeaning to the parent with the problem. Children are smart and will know that other families do live as you do.

You may need to leave the home for a while if the drinking leads to abusive behavior. This is the only way to protect the children and make sure that they do not grow up thinking that this is acceptable behavior. You also do not want to keep them in an abusive home. Not all alcoholics drink all the time, but even so, the kids should not be subjected to any abusive behavior from a parent. They also should be told that drinking is all right. As they grow up, they would stand a good chance of following in the footsteps of the alcoholic parent.

Take the kids to Al-Anon so that they have someone other than you to talk with. This is very important so that the kids have someone to talk to and listen to other kids in the same situation. If they have somewhere to go with others their age, it could help them understand what is happening and how to cope with their home life. It can also help them understand if you have to leave the home.

Talk with the kids if they have questions. You have to be honest without being judgmental. The kids will understand more if you talk to them instead of trying to hide the problem. Kids today, know more than what parents knew when they were kids and they see and hear things that they probably should not. This is the reason that you must be honest. Never badmouth the alcoholic parent because the kids could resent you.

When you are talking to the kids, ask them if they have questions and try to answer them the best you can. You can also expect to be asked why mom or dad yells at them or why the person has to do the things that he or she does. Answer honestly and try to help them understand.

XXXXX

Word count 713

Offer Love and Conversation to the Alcoholic

If you live with an alcoholic, you want to offer love and conversation when they are not drinking. Trying this when they are drinking may be harder to do since you never know what their mood is or how they will react. You have to have an open line of communication even if the person is an alcoholic. You should not try talking about anything important when they are drinking, but engage is light conversation and leave the heavy discussions for when they are sober. Then you can have a friendly conversation. Just show them some love and hope that they like that better than what they get when they drink.

If the alcoholic is not a mean drunk, you can offer love. This of course depends on the mood of the alcoholic when he is drinking. Some alcoholics are mellow drunks, but even the mildest mannered alcoholic can switch moods just like that without warning. It can be like a roller coaster. One minute they can be sweet and loving and the next screaming at you because you said something that they did not like. This is a pattern with most alcoholics. You never know what you can say or do. It can change from day to day or even minute to minute.

When the alcoholic is not drinking, engage in conversation and try to touch on the drinking. This is the only time you have to discuss drinking. In most cases, they will tell you that they do not have a problem. They do not see it the same way that you do. You could point out a few things that they do when they drink and hope that they remember. You can tell them how it makes you feel when they have to drink all the time. It probably will not help them, but it can help you.

Explain that you want to care about them and do not want to see something bad happen. You can pour out your feelings and at least let them know how you feel, but chances are, they will only quick drinking for a few days and then start hiding it from you. This is common with alcoholics. If they know that you do not want them to drink, they will find ways to do it and hide it. It would not be uncommon to find empties in cupboards, down in the basement or out in the garage.

Talk about the future and things you would like to do. Make it clear that you want to enjoy a life with them, but you want them to be around for it. Make it clear that you are not really happy with the ways things are, but you would like to help make a change. Never tell them that they have to change, make it a change for both of you. You may not need to change, but telling them that is not going to mean a thing. You have to tell them that you will change with them.

Explain some of the health risks that you discovered. This may be one thing that could help. If they do not want to die at a young age, they may think about what you have to say. Of course, if they do not feel as if they have a problem, you could be talking to deaf ears. You can still try. Maybe if they see or feel some symptoms, they will think about what you said.

Try not to get upset or yell. Engage in a light conversation and if you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to collect your thoughts. The last thing the alcoholic wants to do is listen to you yell at them. If you do not walk away and calm down, they might just leave and find somewhere to drink. This will defeat the purpose of your talk. You have to be on eggshells when you live with an alcoholic if you want to help them. You can be caring when you talk, but do not expect that in return from the alcoholic. That may come over time.

XXXXX

Word count 696