Tag: Alcohol

Coping With Abusive Behavior of the Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic that has abusive behavior, you need help before things get out of control. The one thing that you cannot do is allow the abusive behavior to continue or it could get worst. Bad things can happen when the abuse continues. If you need help, you can talk to others or protect yourself and the kids by calling the police. The police can remove the person from the home until they sober up. They can give you a seventy-two hour restraining order. Sometimes, this is enough to put a scare into the alcoholic.

Seek help from someone that can help you. This would be a counselor. You need to get the alcoholic into counseling as well. Abusive behavior can come because of the alcohol, but there may be another issue that triggers the abuse when the person is drinking. They may not even know what it is or how to control it. A counselor can help you both talk through the situation and help find a way to stop the abuse. You need to do this to protect yourself, the kids and even the alcoholic.

If they do not want to attend counseling, you should go yourself. You may find out that there are some things that you can do to avoid triggering the abusive behavior. This seems like a lot of work since you are not the one with the abusive behavior or the drinking problem, but you need to do it. When you are in counseling, you can learn what to do to protect yourself and where you can go if you need an escape. If you have any fears or other issues, you can talk your way through them with the help of a counselor.

Do not take the abuse. This could lead to more abuse and it could escalate. Just because the person only slaps you once is still not acceptable. Most cases of drunken abuse start with a slap and could lead to serious abuse that could lead to serious injury or death. You cannot just ignore any abuse no matter how small the issue. If it starts, chances are it will not stop until something is done about it. You cannot live in fear. If you live with an alcoholic, you already have enough to worry about and abuse does not have to be one of those issues.

Call the police if the abuse does not stop. The police can remove the party from the home and will not allow the person to return for at least seventy-two hours or sooner if you drop it. You can take this time to talk with the person and see what they plan to do about the problems. They are the only one that can make the change. You have to be firm and not agree to the person coming home until they agree to make changes and counseling should be top on that list.

Never agree to forgive the person the next day because they apologize. This is just another way of enabling the alcoholic. Forgiveness is earned and not just a bunch of words. Yes, they are going to feel remorse and be upset because they hurt you, but if you think that forgiving them right away and acting as nothing has happened, you will be in for a big surprise if you agree to forgiveness right away.

Try to keep the children away from any abusive behavior. Kids have a hard enough life growing up and they do not need to be involved in any abusive behavior. The kids should never try to help the parent that is being abused or they could become abused themselves. There are so many obstacles when you live with an alcoholic that is abusive. Sometimes, it is better to leave and move on. If the alcoholic does not get help or understand there actions, you may not be able to help them or yourself. You may have to leave and see if they take the steps needed to change.

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Changing Your Own Drinking Habits

If you drink when out with friends or at home with the partner that drinks, you make have to make a change if you want the alcoholic to stop. An alcoholic cannot stop drinking if they live in a house with someone that drinks even one cocktail a week. They see you drinking and determine that if you are happy with your drinking, you should accept their drinking. If they want to stop and you drink in front of them, they will not be able to do it. An alcoholic that wants to stop cannot around someone that drinks in front of them or that goes out and comes home smelling of alcohol.

You might have to stop drinking. This is the only way that you can show your support for the alcoholic that is trying to stop drinking. It is also the only way that you can make your point that you do not want them to drink. You cannot tell someone that they cannot do something if you do it. Remember that the alcoholic does not think that they have a drinking problem. They are just drinking as you do. You have to make some changes with your own drinking habits if you want to make an appeal for the alcoholic to stop drinking.

Maybe you can go with friends somewhere else to drink when you are gone for the weekend or overnight. However, this is just another deception in your relationship. Some alcoholics do not want to stop, but if you sit and drink with them, they think that you accept their drinking. If you sneak out to drink, you are just doing what they could do. If you want to enjoy a night out, you may want to drink non-alcoholic drinks. If you do drink, you should not be preaching to the band even if you only drink occasionally.

Talk to him or her and see how they feel about your drinking. In some cases, the alcoholic knows that they have a problem and they know that you only have a few drinks here and there. They may not have a problem with this. However, if they think that because you drink, this means that they can drink, you may need to stop even if they have no problem with you drinking. This sounds ridiculous, but it can happen. Many alcoholics know they have a problem and they know that their spouse or partner does not.

Should you be supportive and hide your drinking from the alcoholic in your life? This should never be done if you want to keep the lies out of the picture. An alcoholic lies and hides their drinking when their family wants them to stop. You would be doing the exact same thing. You may want a drink sometimes, but if you do, you must not hide it. This can only cause more problems in the relationship.

If you have problems understanding why you cannot have a drink, you may have to reexamine your own feelings for the person. Sometimes a person finds it hard to change because they are not the one with the problem. This might be true, but if you live with an alcoholic, you have to make changes and sacrifices. This is just part of the problem. If you feel that you should not have to give anything up, then maybe you need to think about what you want.

If you think that giving up drinking is hard, then maybe you should. If you think that you cannot change the way you live to be with an alcoholic, then you might not be in the right relationship. Sometimes you have to make a decision that means that you cannot have a drink or you cannot go out with friends. This is a choice that you have to make. You have to be sure of what you want. Sometimes to be right, you have to stop drinking so that the alcoholic knows that you want them to do it as well.

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Avoiding Alcohol Related Arguments

Alcohol and arguing just do not mix. In some cases, a minor argument can escalate into something much worst. The slightest comment can set off a full-blown fight. Sometimes the fights can end badly for both. It is not uncommon for fights to erupt in the household when you live with an alcoholic. Even the sweetest person can become mean if they feel threatened in any way. The only way to avoid any arguments from escalating is to avoid any arguments or discussions when the person is under the influence. This might be hard to do, but it is something that you have to do.

Making the most of a bad situation is hard to do, but you must try. You might have to walk away even though you know that you are right about something. You have to avoid making things worst. If the person drinking feels strongly that they are right or that you did something wrong, they are not going to see it any different by arguing with them. They are going to get angrier and this is when physical, verbal and mental abuse can occur. This can be the hardest part of living with an alcoholic. However, to avoid serious problems, you should drop it and walk away.

If the arguing starts, you should leave the room and not say another word. If you continue to argue, you are just adding to the fire. This is when bad things can happen. The alcoholic that believes that they are right and that you are the wrong one, they could fight back if you continue to talk. It is not uncommon to hear how bad you are or how they detest the sight of you. You have to walk away before this starts. Even if you leave the room, the yelling may continue, but at least you will out of harms way.

Make sure that you are not starting the arguments when they start. This is the worst thing you can do. If you know the person is drinking and had enough, talking about anything could set them off. This is not the time to talk about no money for food or the car needs repair. You will just start an argument that you will not win. The alcoholic never loses the fight because they never back down in most cases. They are not thinking clearly and have no idea what is what.

Make sure that the kids know that this not the time to discuss anything with the alcoholic adult. Kids should never discuss anything with the parent who is drinking. Even the sweetest parent can become the meanest person when they are drinking. You never know what will set them off or what they will do. They are under the influence of a mind-altering addiction. Always wait until they are not drinking before letting the kids talk to the drinking parent.

If the argument continues after you leave the room, you may have to leave the house for a while. This is sad, but it is the truth in some cases. They may follow you around yelling at you. You may need to leave for a while so that they can calm down. If you do, make sure to take the kids and the car keys for all cars. Give them a few hours to calm down before returning. Sometimes, it is better to wait until they pass out. Just avoid any confrontations when the person is drinking. It is much safer for you.

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You are the Responsible One When You Live with an

You are the Responsible One When You Live with an Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic, you not only feel alone, but most of the time you really are when it comes to chores and the kids. You are the only adult in the home it feels like most of the time. You will not be able to rest until all the work around the house is done and if you want to go somewhere, you will take the kids with you because the other parent will not be able to care for them while he or she is drinking. You might even have to have a job on top of everything lese.

You will have to make sure the bills are paid on time. You will also need to make sure that the family has enough money for everything after the alcohol is bought out of the family budget. You may have to get a job just to survive and pay the bills. This could be the hardest thing you have to do in your life, especially if you thought that your spouse or partner was going to take care of the work and you wee going to take care of the house and the family. Things change when the alcohol consumes one of the partners.

You will usually have to clean and take out the garbage. This is just because it will at least get done the right way. He or she may want to do dishes, but when you try to do something when you are drunk, it usually backfires. Dirty dishes in the cupboards that are said to be clean can be disturbing. Taking out the garbage can also be a challenge and if you want everything to be taken out, then you will probably have to do it yourself. You can plan on doing almost everything around the house including cleaning up messes that he or she may make.

The person may not want supper when you do, so you will have to make sure that there is enough food leftover for them. This is something that can cause arguments. If dinner is not just right, it can trigger an argument. You will never win, so you always do what is asked of you, even if it means making something new. This can get old fast and make you wish that you were the one drinking. Just do not ever give up hope.

You will have to secretly keep a hold on the money and know where it is going. An alcoholic in you life means that money is going to be tight because they will always have money for alcohol, but may not have enough for anything else. If you want to keep your home and have things for the family including food, you need to take control of the money. Even if they say no, you must find a way to do it.

The kids will be your responsibility and you will need to keep them in line by yourself. You can pretty much figure that anything that requires the attention of a parent is going to be your responsibility. In some cases, you will even hear that you were the one that had kids. It can be hard on the kids just as much as it is on you. Kids need both parents for support and most of the time, they do not have this when one parent is an alcoholic. Living with an alcoholic can be challenging and devastating to kids and to you.

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