Tag: Abusive Behavior

Coping With Abusive Behavior of the Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic that has abusive behavior, you need help before things get out of control. The one thing that you cannot do is allow the abusive behavior to continue or it could get worst. Bad things can happen when the abuse continues. If you need help, you can talk to others or protect yourself and the kids by calling the police. The police can remove the person from the home until they sober up. They can give you a seventy-two hour restraining order. Sometimes, this is enough to put a scare into the alcoholic.

Seek help from someone that can help you. This would be a counselor. You need to get the alcoholic into counseling as well. Abusive behavior can come because of the alcohol, but there may be another issue that triggers the abuse when the person is drinking. They may not even know what it is or how to control it. A counselor can help you both talk through the situation and help find a way to stop the abuse. You need to do this to protect yourself, the kids and even the alcoholic.

If they do not want to attend counseling, you should go yourself. You may find out that there are some things that you can do to avoid triggering the abusive behavior. This seems like a lot of work since you are not the one with the abusive behavior or the drinking problem, but you need to do it. When you are in counseling, you can learn what to do to protect yourself and where you can go if you need an escape. If you have any fears or other issues, you can talk your way through them with the help of a counselor.

Do not take the abuse. This could lead to more abuse and it could escalate. Just because the person only slaps you once is still not acceptable. Most cases of drunken abuse start with a slap and could lead to serious abuse that could lead to serious injury or death. You cannot just ignore any abuse no matter how small the issue. If it starts, chances are it will not stop until something is done about it. You cannot live in fear. If you live with an alcoholic, you already have enough to worry about and abuse does not have to be one of those issues.

Call the police if the abuse does not stop. The police can remove the party from the home and will not allow the person to return for at least seventy-two hours or sooner if you drop it. You can take this time to talk with the person and see what they plan to do about the problems. They are the only one that can make the change. You have to be firm and not agree to the person coming home until they agree to make changes and counseling should be top on that list.

Never agree to forgive the person the next day because they apologize. This is just another way of enabling the alcoholic. Forgiveness is earned and not just a bunch of words. Yes, they are going to feel remorse and be upset because they hurt you, but if you think that forgiving them right away and acting as nothing has happened, you will be in for a big surprise if you agree to forgiveness right away.

Try to keep the children away from any abusive behavior. Kids have a hard enough life growing up and they do not need to be involved in any abusive behavior. The kids should never try to help the parent that is being abused or they could become abused themselves. There are so many obstacles when you live with an alcoholic that is abusive. Sometimes, it is better to leave and move on. If the alcoholic does not get help or understand there actions, you may not be able to help them or yourself. You may have to leave and see if they take the steps needed to change.

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Protect the Children from Alcohol Abuse

If you have children in the home, you must protect them from alcohol abuse. These means that they have to be protected form the alcohol and the alcoholic that may be abusive. Kids are very impressionable and learn from what they see or what is done to them. You have to be the one to break the cycle. If you do not protect the children from the abuse no matter if it is physical or because they see a parent drinking, they could grow up with the same tendencies. As a parent or even a friend, you must step in and prevent any problems before they start.

Kids will follow in the footsteps of a parent if they do not understand the consequences. This is not always true, but in most cases, it is what happens. Even if a child does not take after the parent, they may grow up to accept this type of behavior and put their own lives in danger or have nothing but heartache. You have to protect the children so that they know that this is not the way to live. However, sometimes this can be hard to do if you want to remain in the home.

If there is abuse in the home because of alcohol, you need to shield the kids from this abuse. If the abuse is physical, mental or verbal, kids should not have to live with it. it the abuse is watching their parent drink themselves into a drunken state, they need to know that this is not how people should live. As a parent, you have to make a decision whether to stay or take you children somewhere else where they will not be subjected to the abusive behavior or have to watch mom or dad drink themselves to death.

Never tell the kids that drinking is just something you do. It is not something that you just do. They need to understand that alcoholism is a disease that can have devastating affects on the person the family. This is important for children to understand. This does not mean that telling them that their parent is a loser or a bad person. You have to be truthful without being demeaning to the parent with the problem. Children are smart and will know that other families do live as you do.

You may need to leave the home for a while if the drinking leads to abusive behavior. This is the only way to protect the children and make sure that they do not grow up thinking that this is acceptable behavior. You also do not want to keep them in an abusive home. Not all alcoholics drink all the time, but even so, the kids should not be subjected to any abusive behavior from a parent. They also should be told that drinking is all right. As they grow up, they would stand a good chance of following in the footsteps of the alcoholic parent.

Take the kids to Al-Anon so that they have someone other than you to talk with. This is very important so that the kids have someone to talk to and listen to other kids in the same situation. If they have somewhere to go with others their age, it could help them understand what is happening and how to cope with their home life. It can also help them understand if you have to leave the home.

Talk with the kids if they have questions. You have to be honest without being judgmental. The kids will understand more if you talk to them instead of trying to hide the problem. Kids today, know more than what parents knew when they were kids and they see and hear things that they probably should not. This is the reason that you must be honest. Never badmouth the alcoholic parent because the kids could resent you.

When you are talking to the kids, ask them if they have questions and try to answer them the best you can. You can also expect to be asked why mom or dad yells at them or why the person has to do the things that he or she does. Answer honestly and try to help them understand.

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