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Coping With Abusive Behavior of the Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic that has abusive behavior, you need help before things get out of control. The one thing that you cannot do is allow the abusive behavior to continue or it could get worst. Bad things can happen when the abuse continues. If you need help, you can talk to others or protect yourself and the kids by calling the police. The police can remove the person from the home until they sober up. They can give you a seventy-two hour restraining order. Sometimes, this is enough to put a scare into the alcoholic.

Seek help from someone that can help you. This would be a counselor. You need to get the alcoholic into counseling as well. Abusive behavior can come because of the alcohol, but there may be another issue that triggers the abuse when the person is drinking. They may not even know what it is or how to control it. A counselor can help you both talk through the situation and help find a way to stop the abuse. You need to do this to protect yourself, the kids and even the alcoholic.

If they do not want to attend counseling, you should go yourself. You may find out that there are some things that you can do to avoid triggering the abusive behavior. This seems like a lot of work since you are not the one with the abusive behavior or the drinking problem, but you need to do it. When you are in counseling, you can learn what to do to protect yourself and where you can go if you need an escape. If you have any fears or other issues, you can talk your way through them with the help of a counselor.

Do not take the abuse. This could lead to more abuse and it could escalate. Just because the person only slaps you once is still not acceptable. Most cases of drunken abuse start with a slap and could lead to serious abuse that could lead to serious injury or death. You cannot just ignore any abuse no matter how small the issue. If it starts, chances are it will not stop until something is done about it. You cannot live in fear. If you live with an alcoholic, you already have enough to worry about and abuse does not have to be one of those issues.

Call the police if the abuse does not stop. The police can remove the party from the home and will not allow the person to return for at least seventy-two hours or sooner if you drop it. You can take this time to talk with the person and see what they plan to do about the problems. They are the only one that can make the change. You have to be firm and not agree to the person coming home until they agree to make changes and counseling should be top on that list.

Never agree to forgive the person the next day because they apologize. This is just another way of enabling the alcoholic. Forgiveness is earned and not just a bunch of words. Yes, they are going to feel remorse and be upset because they hurt you, but if you think that forgiving them right away and acting as nothing has happened, you will be in for a big surprise if you agree to forgiveness right away.

Try to keep the children away from any abusive behavior. Kids have a hard enough life growing up and they do not need to be involved in any abusive behavior. The kids should never try to help the parent that is being abused or they could become abused themselves. There are so many obstacles when you live with an alcoholic that is abusive. Sometimes, it is better to leave and move on. If the alcoholic does not get help or understand there actions, you may not be able to help them or yourself. You may have to leave and see if they take the steps needed to change.

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Changing Your Own Drinking Habits

If you drink when out with friends or at home with the partner that drinks, you make have to make a change if you want the alcoholic to stop. An alcoholic cannot stop drinking if they live in a house with someone that drinks even one cocktail a week. They see you drinking and determine that if you are happy with your drinking, you should accept their drinking. If they want to stop and you drink in front of them, they will not be able to do it. An alcoholic that wants to stop cannot around someone that drinks in front of them or that goes out and comes home smelling of alcohol.

You might have to stop drinking. This is the only way that you can show your support for the alcoholic that is trying to stop drinking. It is also the only way that you can make your point that you do not want them to drink. You cannot tell someone that they cannot do something if you do it. Remember that the alcoholic does not think that they have a drinking problem. They are just drinking as you do. You have to make some changes with your own drinking habits if you want to make an appeal for the alcoholic to stop drinking.

Maybe you can go with friends somewhere else to drink when you are gone for the weekend or overnight. However, this is just another deception in your relationship. Some alcoholics do not want to stop, but if you sit and drink with them, they think that you accept their drinking. If you sneak out to drink, you are just doing what they could do. If you want to enjoy a night out, you may want to drink non-alcoholic drinks. If you do drink, you should not be preaching to the band even if you only drink occasionally.

Talk to him or her and see how they feel about your drinking. In some cases, the alcoholic knows that they have a problem and they know that you only have a few drinks here and there. They may not have a problem with this. However, if they think that because you drink, this means that they can drink, you may need to stop even if they have no problem with you drinking. This sounds ridiculous, but it can happen. Many alcoholics know they have a problem and they know that their spouse or partner does not.

Should you be supportive and hide your drinking from the alcoholic in your life? This should never be done if you want to keep the lies out of the picture. An alcoholic lies and hides their drinking when their family wants them to stop. You would be doing the exact same thing. You may want a drink sometimes, but if you do, you must not hide it. This can only cause more problems in the relationship.

If you have problems understanding why you cannot have a drink, you may have to reexamine your own feelings for the person. Sometimes a person finds it hard to change because they are not the one with the problem. This might be true, but if you live with an alcoholic, you have to make changes and sacrifices. This is just part of the problem. If you feel that you should not have to give anything up, then maybe you need to think about what you want.

If you think that giving up drinking is hard, then maybe you should. If you think that you cannot change the way you live to be with an alcoholic, then you might not be in the right relationship. Sometimes you have to make a decision that means that you cannot have a drink or you cannot go out with friends. This is a choice that you have to make. You have to be sure of what you want. Sometimes to be right, you have to stop drinking so that the alcoholic knows that you want them to do it as well.

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Avoiding Alcohol Related Arguments

Alcohol and arguing just do not mix. In some cases, a minor argument can escalate into something much worst. The slightest comment can set off a full-blown fight. Sometimes the fights can end badly for both. It is not uncommon for fights to erupt in the household when you live with an alcoholic. Even the sweetest person can become mean if they feel threatened in any way. The only way to avoid any arguments from escalating is to avoid any arguments or discussions when the person is under the influence. This might be hard to do, but it is something that you have to do.

Making the most of a bad situation is hard to do, but you must try. You might have to walk away even though you know that you are right about something. You have to avoid making things worst. If the person drinking feels strongly that they are right or that you did something wrong, they are not going to see it any different by arguing with them. They are going to get angrier and this is when physical, verbal and mental abuse can occur. This can be the hardest part of living with an alcoholic. However, to avoid serious problems, you should drop it and walk away.

If the arguing starts, you should leave the room and not say another word. If you continue to argue, you are just adding to the fire. This is when bad things can happen. The alcoholic that believes that they are right and that you are the wrong one, they could fight back if you continue to talk. It is not uncommon to hear how bad you are or how they detest the sight of you. You have to walk away before this starts. Even if you leave the room, the yelling may continue, but at least you will out of harms way.

Make sure that you are not starting the arguments when they start. This is the worst thing you can do. If you know the person is drinking and had enough, talking about anything could set them off. This is not the time to talk about no money for food or the car needs repair. You will just start an argument that you will not win. The alcoholic never loses the fight because they never back down in most cases. They are not thinking clearly and have no idea what is what.

Make sure that the kids know that this not the time to discuss anything with the alcoholic adult. Kids should never discuss anything with the parent who is drinking. Even the sweetest parent can become the meanest person when they are drinking. You never know what will set them off or what they will do. They are under the influence of a mind-altering addiction. Always wait until they are not drinking before letting the kids talk to the drinking parent.

If the argument continues after you leave the room, you may have to leave the house for a while. This is sad, but it is the truth in some cases. They may follow you around yelling at you. You may need to leave for a while so that they can calm down. If you do, make sure to take the kids and the car keys for all cars. Give them a few hours to calm down before returning. Sometimes, it is better to wait until they pass out. Just avoid any confrontations when the person is drinking. It is much safer for you.

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Avoid Having Alcohol in the Home

When you live with an alcoholic in your life, you have to change the way you live. You have to change the way you keep your house stocked with beverages. You have to realize that having alcohol in the home is a thing of the past. An alcoholic does not care where the drink comes from as long as they can drink it. This is hard to understand for many people. If you do not have a drinking problem, but enjoy a drink occasionally, you will have to make some changes. The sad thing is that you may have to be the one to hide the alcohol.

If you drink, you have to use good judgment. You have to realize that living with an alcoholic and drinking yourself can make for some intense moments. It may make you feel superior and able to say things that you normally would not. This could create some arguments and even some abusive behavioral on both parts. If you do drink, it should be on moderation and make sure that you do not need to discuss anything with your spouse or partner when you are drinking.

Keep alcohol out of sight if you live with an alcoholic in your life. This is important, but it is also necessary. Many alcoholics will hide their empties so that you do not know that they are drinking, but now you will have to be the one hiding the alcohol if you want to keep it in the house. This now becomes a really bad living situation. Unfortunately, if you want alcohol in the house for yourself or for when guests stop over, you will have to keep it out of sight.

A lock on the liquor cabinet will not deter the alcoholic in you life. If the person knows that there is alcohol in the house, even if you use a lock and key to keep them out, they will find a way. This is sad because you want to feel safe and secure in your home, but the problem is already inside. You have to change the way you live when you live with an alcoholic. There is no easy way to keep alcoholic beverages in the house where an alcoholic lives.

If you have alcohol in the house, be prepared to have it disappear quickly. This is a problem for anyone that keeps alcohol in the house. Just because Aunt Sally brought it over for when she visits will not mean a thing. The alcoholic that needs a drink does not care whose alcohol it is but only that it is there and they need it. This can cause more problems when Aunt Sally comes for a visit and the alcohol is gone. You have to explain and tell the truth instead of covering it up.

Hiding alcohol is not the answer, but unfortunately, it is the only way you can keep alcohol in the house if you do. Sometimes you will feel like this is not worth it and get discouraged. This is the time you need to talk to someone. Living with an alcoholic that seeks and finds the alcohol to drink has a problem and most counselors will tell you not to keep alcohol in the house at all. This is not what you want to hear, but short of sleeping with the alcohol next to your bed, this may be the only way to stop the alcoholic from drinking what is not theirs.

You may need to have an alcohol free home to deter drinking at home. This is not hard to do if you do not want a cocktail now and then. If you are just a casual drinker and only want a few cocktails, you will have to decide what is more important. This is hard, but then again, living with an alcoholic is hard most of the time. There is no easy way to live with a person that has a drinking problem. You have to make sacrifices in most cases to make things work.

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