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How to Avoid Getting Discouraged When Living with an Alcoholic

How to Avoid Getting Discouraged When Living with an Alcoholic

When you live with an alcoholic in you life, it is hard not to get discouraged and just want to walk away. If you care about the person, you want to help them, but the truth is that they are the only one that can take the first steps to helping him to herself. You can try to help as much as possible and do things to make things easier to quit, but sometimes all the help and treatments in the world are not enough. You have to be positive and hope that the day will come when the person finally goes for treatment and wins the battle of alcoholism.

Remember why you fell in love with the person. This is important or you will not make it. Many times, you will hate the person and other times, you will see a part of them come shining through. It is even harder when you live with an alcoholic that drinks and becomes mean and then goes a couple days of being their same loving self. They become the person you fell in love with. However, it can end in a minute when they start drinking again. This is the hardest thing to live with.

Think about the person they used to be and how much fun you used to have. This can work for a time, but after years of abusing alcohol, it can be hard to think about the good times. The person that lives with an alcoholic needs to be strong. This can be hard for some people, but if you love the person, you have to try. It is hard to watch them do this to themselves, but you have to give them love anyway. It is possible to make a difference if you remain strong.

Remember that there is help for you and the alcoholic. There are groups that offer support to the spouse or family of the alcoholic. Al-Anon is a great group to join. You can hear others talk and can even relate to what they are saying. After all, you are living the same nightmare that most of them are living. You have to have support to make it through the hard times. This is vital to living with an alcoholic. The support should come from family and friends as well. If the family does not have a clue as to what is happening, they cannot offer support.

Look at picture albums and see the joyous times you shared. This is a mask of the problem, but it does help. You see the times when the drinking did not control your life. You see another person standing next to you. Browsing through picture albums with the sober alcoholic may bring back memories for him or her as well. Sometimes it is these times that they start to think about what they are doing and want a change.

If you are living with an alcoholic, you have to stand up and let them know that you are feeling alone. You have to let them know that you are there for them, but they are the ones that have to change. You cannot do it for them, but you can offer support and encouragement if they agree to treatment. You are part of the process, but the person that drinks is the only one that can make things better.

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Help the Alcoholic before They Hit Bottom

If you know that the drinking problem is getting way out of control, you should get help for the alcoholic before they hit bottom. This means that you have to take matters into your own hands and talk to someone that can help. This will more than likely be a counselor or a doctor. You will need to get the person into treatment before it is too late. This sounds easy to do, but they are not going to go with you, you will have to have them committed to a hospital or treatment program. This is why covering up for the alcoholic is so wrong. You need people to know the problems for support.

If things are bad, you are scared, and things are out of control, ask for help. Committing the person to a hospital to dry out and have some sessions with a counselor or a doctor is the only way to stop the drinking. There are treatment plans that work very well and the person is never alone. They are always with someone so that they can talk about things. This is the best thing that can happen for both of you. Treatments for alcoholism are intense and they can deal with the withdrawals.

If the health of the alcoholic is in danger, you will need to take steps to get them help. Sometimes an alcoholic will become depressed and withdrawn. You must get them help before they do something stupid or that they will regret. You are the strong one at this time and you must step up and take charge. You will want someone to help you when you take the person to a treatment center. If they refuse to go, you can always ask for help from the police.

This is the hardest thing to do. The reason you are doing it is because you care about the person and you just cannot live this way anymore. It will be hard because you will miss the person, but you have to remember that when they are done is treatment, you will have the person you love back again. Life will not be as it was. This is when you have to remember that it is best for them and the rest of the family. You have to be firm, but not abusive. Yelling is not going to help. Get help if you need it to avoid any problems.

You will feel alone and they will not want anything to do with you right away. This is one of the hardest pats of committing someone for treatment. You just sit and cry because you feel so horrible. However, you have to remember why you did it. You have to tell yourself that you did it because it can help them and bring them back to you. You have to be strong. This would be a good time to visit a group such as Al-Anon and talk with others about how you feel. It does help easy the pain and loss of a mate.

In the end, they will dry out and be happy to be with you again. Once the initial shock is gone and the alcoholic is done with withdraws, they will want to see you. It may take some time, but they do finally clear their minds and want you. They remember your good times together and want you. You can then begin the healing process and start looking ahead. They have to want to move forward, so way for them to tell you when the time is right.

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Helping Your Alcoholic Child

When you are dealing with an alcoholic child, you have to be firm and not think that things will change. You cannot think that this is just a phase that they are going through. Many parents prefer to think that their child young or old is just having a rough time and just needs to unwind. This is what can lead to alcohol abuse and future problems. Someone that drinks because they need to unwind or because the parent thinks it is just a phase can become an alcoholic if this type of behavior continues. Parents never want to believe that their child has a drinking problem.

If your child is an alcoholic, you need to understand that sticking up for them when they do something wrong is not going to help them. If they are a younger child or an adult child with a family, you as a parent cannot allow them to continue doing the things that they do. You have to be responsible enough to see that there is a problem and take steps to help. Making excuses or believing that your child could never do something bad is wrong. You do not know for certain what they are capable of doing when they are drinking.

No matter if is an adult child or a young child, you need to be firm and not coddle them. A parent that sees nothing and does not want to know anything is just asking for trouble. Coddling a child that is an alcoholic can show them that what they are doing is acceptable. This could lead to something horrible happening. If you believe that your child could never be abusive or that they have a drinking problem, you are just enabling them to continue. Waking up one day to find out that your child has hurt someone or his or her self can be devastating.

It was probably coddling that got them into the mess they are in now. If you wear blinders where your children are concerned, it is more than likely going to be your fault if something happens. If you know that there is a drinking problem, you must be strong. Allowing your child to drink in excess can lead to repercussions. As a parent of an alcoholic child, young or old, you must deal with the problem instead of coddling them and making excuses for them.

If a spouse or partner tells you that your son or daughter has a drinking problem, never blame the spouse or partner. They are not the ones who are drinking. Alcoholics do not need a reason to drink. They drink because they have a disease and an addiction that they need help overcoming. By turning a blind eye to the problem, you are making matters worst. If a spouse tells you that your child has a drinking problem and is abusive at times, tell that person that it is their fault is not going to help your child.

Parents do not want to hear that their child is an alcoholic. No parent wants to hear this, but the facts are that any child from any background can have a drinking problem. If you as a parent do not address the problem, you are enabling your child to continue drinking and endangering anyone around them including yourself. You must help and be supportive of the spouse and your child, but you cannot deny there is a problem. You as a parent have to take steps to get your child help.

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Friends and Family Can Help with Alcoholic Problems

You do not have to go it alone. You can join a support group and talk with family and friends about what you are living with. It is important that you are not alone in what you are living with. If you think that it will make people feel differently about the person, you may be right, but then again, the alcoholic does not care anyway. You need to have someone to talk to or confide in if you do not join a support group. You would be surprised at how many friends and family already know that there is a problem.

Talk to your family about the problem. You need the support of your family to make it when you live with an alcoholic. They can offer advice and support, but also they will know what you are going through. Some of your family made be understanding sand some may be a bit skeptic about the problem. It is not unusual for family members to be in denial as much as the alcoholic is if they think that he or she is the greatest. You still need to let everyone know what is happening.

Talk to your friends about the problem. Many times a friend can see things that you cannot. Sometimes they already know, but did not want to say anything until you brought it up for conversations. If you do talk with friends, you have to make sure that they are not going to gossip about the situation, which could make matters worst. You can talk to close friends that understand. Maybe they have even been in the same situation. This can help you more than you think. If you do not or cannot join a group, the friends and family are the next best thing to have supporting you.

Talk to his or her family about the problem only if you feel that they care about it. The same goes for his or her friends. Since you can talk to your friends and family, it would be nice if you could talk to his or her family. This can be a touchy area, as most families do not want to admit that their family member has a drinking problem. If you can find just one member of the family or just one friend, you can talk to them for help and support. Sometimes they can help by talking to the family member when you are not around.

You need to have family and friends that can support you if you want to live with an alcoholic. This is the only way that you will be able to stay sane. If you have an abusive relationship when the person is drinking, you need to have someone that knows what is going on in your home. It is always better to talk to a support group, but for some reason, that might not be an option for you. They may even be able to help you if you need to get away for a while and breathe easy for a few days.

Be open and honest. If things are not good, explain this and ask for suggestions. Many times, it is easier to hide behind the scenes and not say anything. Unfortunately, this is not a good idea. If you live with an alcoholic, you have to have support and someone that knows what you are going through. This is important if something would happen to you or the alcoholic. Even if you think that nothing could ever happen, you are wrong. Someone that drinks and for long periods, does not always think rationally or even know what they do.

Never ask a family or friend to talk to the alcoholic unless they know the person better than you do. This could make him or her upset with you, but it might help if they have a respect for that person. Living with an alcoholic is not easy and you will find times that you even make mistakes, but you are only trying to help and some day he or she may be able to see that.

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