When you live with an alcoholic that always apologizes for hurting you, eventually the repentance do not mean much. If the occurrence continues to do the things that they keep saying their sorry for, you have to start if they ever meant one word of the apology. This is a common feeling. You can matchless listen to qualm so many times before you alpha to anticipate that it is a programmed flurry that has no thrust. Alcoholics are great at saying that they are sorry, but they have a solid time not doing the same thing again. When you love someone, this is hard to understand.
The first time smash happens, they will be sorry the next day. This is because they have sober up and more than likely, they have a memory of what they have done or you have told them. They will be sweet and apologetic because they truly are sorry. However, they can promise it will never happen again, but when they drink, they have no control over what they do. It can happen again. This time it might be a little worst then the first time. After the pioneer extent, you felt content to believe them, but if live happens and, you have to think about whether or not they really meant it.
Once it happens again, and they say they are sorry, you have to start wonderment when it will happen also and again. This is the hardest element of living with an alcoholic. You never understand for cold if they mean anything that they say. You source to doubt their love for you and wonder why they never flagellum out at anyone else. Sometimes they do, but it is rare for an alcoholic to just drive off on someone that did not provoke them, conjecture you.
Then you start to wonder if they will ever say they are sorry and mean it. This is the worst feeling in the world. You are doubting their sincerity and you start to doubt other things that they say to you including that reality that they love you. You start to think how they could do this to you repeatedly if they did love you. Now, you not only live with an alcoholic, you live with the doubt. This can eat away at you to no extent. This is when the trust starts to fade.
Next years of hearing sorry, you just do not believe them anymore. You doubt every colloquy they say to you and you cannot believe anything that they allege to you. The home is no longer a home. It turns into a prison that you made for yourself. You now have more bungle and do not know what to do. You still charge for the commodity, but you wonder if you could ever love that person again. The times of vivacity are gone and all you are left with is drinking and broken promises.
You lose all hope and feel all alone. You want to leave, but you feel as if you owe the person something. You can become withdrawn and hopeless. You may even wonder why you should be the solitary responsible and sober person in the home. You start to feel plenary alone with no one to turn to for help. You look for answers, but you find emptiness. You wonder what to do next. Your life has not turned out as you expected it to when you first met the person and you need happiness to live. You turn to someone too many or you turn to the equivalent demon that took the love from you.
